My Life With Kids

So Happy It's Thursday

2011-07-29T00:06:00.001-04:00

I came across this blog idea and decided to run with it since I am happy it's Thursday. Reason 1 is Burn Notice which has just started up again and is really getting good. Reason 2 is I'm packing for my first ever night away from my kids. I really should be sadder about this but I'm not. and Finally I'm going to be in Atlantic City tomorrow! I've never been so can't wait! Aren't those good reasons?

Pay absolutely no attention to the fact that it is no longer Thursday. I WAS happy it was Thursday and gonna be crazy happy on Friday too. That's the plan!

And then I wrote a blog post...

2011-07-25T14:40:00.002-04:00

I know. You're shocked, right. Well usually, my job and three kids leave me strapped for imagination and time to sit down and actually write a blog post. This week the boys are at Bible school. (doing a little dance for joy) OK. and AnonyMOMous begged. Cause that's what it takes. begging. and cash prizes. I am very susceptible to bribery. Anyway. She wrote a very excellent blog post on the contents of her purse and challenged the blogger community to give up theirs.. Well here goes nothing. Cause I got nothing in it. I kid.

Well I, in my infinite wisdom have decided that I do not like lugging around multiple bags and since I have to carry the diaper bag around and the baby (she insists on eating and pooping on a regular basis) I just stick my stuff in the diaper bag. Of course I'm not totally uncool, my diaperbag is BabyPhat afterall.

And a must have for all diaperbags no matter how glamorous... matching changing pad, diapers and wipes

A change of clothes and baby accessories

Reading material, because you never know when you might get a moment to read.

Batteries, I don't know why, don't ask, chapstick, lipstick, pictures, band-aids, spare change, crayons and that may or may not be some bills I was supposed to mail last week. Sorry PSE&G.

Then the usual stuff, wallet, name badge from work, my phone, my camera, keys, gum,

And after that, you know what's left? 8346294 receipts from everything from the supermarket to the gas station. I'm not keeping them for a reason, they just get shoved in there until someone forces me to empty and show the contents to the world.

So your welcome for that tour of everything I have to carry around on a daily basis. And also for blogging. If you think your bag is worse then mine prove it by linking up!

Mommy's Magic Bag

What I am up to..

2011-03-30T21:39:00.003-04:00

Well you might be wondering what all I am doing that I can't manage to fit in a post here and there. Well besides taking care of the baby girl (who for some reason insists on waking up every three hours, just because...) and working part time, I am still trying to give my children the life they are used to. For instance Tuesday afternoons is piano lessons and Wednesday afternoons is Chess club. And don't even get me started on Saturdays. This Saturday I have Baseball at 8:45am, Soccer at 10am, and Swim lessons at 11:30. Luckily I took the day off because instead of going to work at 2pm, I have a mandatory church retreat for the seven year old. As usual, in order for my son to get his Holy Communion, I have to attend fifteen different scheduled events. (Frankly, I thought this was why I sent him to Catholic school, so they could handle this stuff between 8 and 2, but apparently not.) So think of me as you're enjoying your leisurely Saturday. I'll see you around if I survive...

For those that still care...

2011-03-22T12:37:00.003-04:00

So here's the deal. My life has been one non stop hectic mess and I'm sure by now everyone has deleted me as not worth the space on their readers, e-mail etc etc. However, I do need to connect so guess what?! I joined Twitter!!! (Cassiewithkids)You can't see but I just patted myself on the back. HeeHeeHee. Anyway, I always had the blog posting to the twitter but I never checked the twitter itself but my new plan is to be able to update those that care via my handy dandy Blackberry. So I make no promises to sit down and write whole blog posts. As you can see I am terrible at it. Since my husbands is now working regularly again. (Thank you Lord Jesus!!) He isn't around to hog the computer and make snarky comments when I'm on instead of say, doing laundry. So I may. Anyway the purpose of this post is to ask if anyone's out there (echoing......) comment with your twitter handle and I can keep in touch when I'm not on here. More on my upside down crazy life later....

WTH is with me lately?!?

2010-11-10T13:30:00.003-05:00

My kids being red blooded Americans did their patriotic duty and brought home a butt load of candy for Halloween. Now here's where I let you in on the dirty secret. I rarely let them eat candy. Okay on Halloween they had a couple of pieces and maybe two additional pieces since then but that's pretty much it. So what have I been doing with all this junk? I'll tell you. I've been eating it. I, who generally doesn't have a sweet tooth, and would rather have a beef patty than a chocolate bar, have been scarfing down the candy at regular intervals. I would excuse myself if say, I was having a craving for skittles or snickers and then went to find one. No, me?, I've been going in the kitchen and out of a utter laziness to make myself something eat a piece of candy in lieu of what I actually want. Seriously, I need help. So should I just take the entire bag of candy and chuck it or what? Do you ever find yourself eating things you don't really want?

My Bucket List

2010-11-09T13:10:00.002-05:00

Okay so my sister sent me an article written by Jen Lancaster. If you haven't read anything by her, you're missing out cause she's amazing. Anyway she's thinking about if she should write a bucket list and reading what's on other people's bucket lists. Apparently, people have these visions of themselves going on African safaris, jumping out of airplanes, climbing tall mountains and other extremely hard, semi-suicidal things.

Personally, I'm with Jen, "not-dying" is pretty high up on my list. I'd like to live to see my grandchildren, which means I need to live at least thirty more years cause my daughter is only four months old. I'd also like to retire. Isn't that boring? I was talking to a co-worker who just got laid off her day job and pretty much she described my perfect day. All day in bed reading, get up to eat, pee and then...go back to bed. Yeah I'd like to live to see a couple of days like that. I'd also wouldn't mind being able to burn that mortgage. Sooo 29 years, eleven months and counting..... I guess I don't need a bucket list since I don't have any lofty goals for myself. Does that make me boring or just lazy???

To Blog or not to blog

2010-11-04T13:49:00.002-04:00

Did you know that it's National Blog Posting Month? Well it is. I have it on good authority. Unfortunately I am a certified blog failure, since I can't organize any rhyme or reason to my posts. I have just come off a six day straight work week which especially sucks since although I got a lot of hours in, there were very few customers. Don't ask me why. Don't they know it is 50 days to Christmas? Someone should be shopping. Anyway since my garage is still full of boxes, my four month old still won't sleep through the night, the economy has dictated I must work myself into the ground, this is basically all you're gonna get for a blog post. Tune in for your next episode of the young (no wisecracks) and insanely busy.

What the hell, shoppers?!?

2010-10-27T13:12:00.004-04:00

So I don't know if I've mentioned this but I've started working nights in a department store. I'm working by commission in the Fine Jewelry department. This is good and bad. It's good because I get to play with all the pretty sparkly things but I'm relying on people to buy those things for my paycheck every week. So you can imagine I meet quite a few characters in my line of work.

This one evening I was helping a guy pick out some things for his significant other. So he's looking and agonizing over this piece versus that piece etc. Anyway at one point he tells me his hesitation is because he isn't sure she deserves it. (HaHa, very funny...not.) In the end he bought a very nice black and white diamond set. (ring, earrings and pendant) My guess is that she should've got the bracelet too for putting up with him. Anyway, on a completely separate occasion I have a guy picking out a diamond pendant when at one point he tells me he isn't sure she's worthy. (Excuse me? WTH? Did they get together to come up with this bad joke? Men, do not use this joke. Not only isn't it funny, it doesn't even have the saving grace of being original anymore.) So yesterday I have a couple in the jewelry department picking out pieces. She tells him she wants this piece and that piece and confides that they are about to celebrate their 20th anniversary. So of course I say, Congratulations! His response? No, no, no, I've been putting up with her for this long you should feel sorry for me. So she rolls her eyes at him. Honestly, what the hell is with these men? Like their lives were soooo wonderful before. Good grief the majority of wives spend their days cooking and cleaning up after the lazy bastards and they think they're getting the raw end of the deal. I'd like to see them work and clean while 7 months pregnant. The human race would die out. Okay, that's the end of my rant on useless men. I'm sure all my male readers are enlightened, help around the house and are happy to buy their wives diamonds on their anniversary.

So back to weirdos shopping for jewelry. So this fat, sloppy, nearly toothless guy comes to the department. (I'm sorry if you saw him you wouldn't be able to come up with polite euphemisms either.) Anyway, he picks out a couple of pairs of silver earrings and confides that they're for his girlfriend because he doesn't want to lose her. (My immediate thought was then he needs to spend a few hundred dollars more than he has.) ANYway, he continues with his life story of how his wife died last year and this 'wonderful' woman came into his life but she has gout and other health problems and that's why he's afraid he'll lose her too...and she had dental surgery earlier in the week cause her teeth weren't as good as his...(WTH??? I really didn't need the image of TWO fat toothless individuals in my head.) and now she's in the hospital for complications from some other thing etc. etc. etc. OMG. It's always nice to hear a little background when people are buying things but really!! Anyday now I'm gonna start charging extra for advice.

Here's some for free... Join Stacy at Blue Monkey Butt to publish your WTH experiences.

Things Kids Say Thursday #6

2010-10-21T11:49:00.005-04:00

4 year old: Sorry Mom, no time to talk now.

Me: You sure are silly.

7 year old: I can be silly if I want. You are not the boss of silly.

4 year old: I need the umbrella.

Me: It's not raining.

4 year old: Then why do I feel water?

Me: Probably the trees are still wet from earlier.

4 year old: This water sure is wet. I need the umbrella.

7 year old: Mario is Italian.

My brother: How do you know that? Does he talk with his hands?

7 year old: awkward...

My aunt: So do you have any girlfriends?

4 year old: No, but I'm gonna marry Angelina.

My aunt: Why isn't she your girlfriend if you're gonna marry her?

4 year old: I'm waiting for her to grow up so I can marry her.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2010-10-05T10:48:00.004-04:00

So the other day I go outside and it's just starting to rain so I say aloud Oh man! It's raining! (I have a gift for stating the obvious.) Anyway a wiseguy passing says no it's not. It's just your imagination. So I snap back with Oh so my imagination is making me wet? (No I didn't. I totally thought it and thank goodness I didn't because upon reflection that doesn't at all sound good does it??)

I was rolling coins to take to the bank and I made the following discovery. Money is filthy. I mean it's really really dirty. What are you people doing with your money to make it so dirty anyway??

So I was helping the seven year old with his social studies since he is having three tests this week. Is it just me or is it a bit excessive to have three tests in three days on basically the same material... in second grade???? By the way, attempting to teach a second grader to spell Australia and Antarctica correctly is an exercise in frustration. Just saying.

I have a collection agency calling me about a debt from 1994. (actually not me, my husband but same difference) Anyway, you would think after 16 years they would get the hint that they're not gonna get their money, but no they still keep calling every. single. day. Annoying.

So that's what's going on with me. Check out the random happenings of the Unmom and others here.

Blogger Fail

2010-10-04T12:07:00.004-04:00

So I have been noticing some bloggers talking about the 30 Day Blogger challenge. Basically it is to write a post every day for 30 days on the following topics:

Day 1: favorite song
Day 2: favorite movie
Day 3: favorite television show
Day 4: favorite book
Day 5: favorite quote
Day 6: 20 of my favorite things
Day 7:a photo that makes you happy
Day 8: a photo that makes you angry or sad
Day 9: a photo you took
Day 10:a photo taken over 10 years ago
Day 11:a recent photo
Day 12:something you are OCD about
Day 13:a fictional book
Day 14 a non-fictional book
Day 15: your dream house
Day 16; a song that makes you cry
Day 17: an art piece
Day 18:my wedding
Day 19:a talent of mine
Day 20: a hobby of mine
Day 21:a recipe
Day 22: a website
Day 23: a you tube video
Day 24:where I live
Day 25:my day in great detail
Day 26: my week in great detail
Day 27:my worst habit
Day 28:what's in my purse
Day 29: plans for the next year
Day 30:a dream for the future beyond next year
Since I've been having trouble blogging every day and getting into the swing of the regular posting, I thought this would help. Fail! Not only haven't I started but this is the first you're hearing about it when I've been pondering it over a week. Double Fail! Definitely going to start tomorrow though...or maybe next week...

TV rant

2010-09-28T09:23:00.005-04:00

Once upon a time when there was a show I liked on tv I could tune in week after week for the new episodes. Has anyone else noticed the time between the season premiere and the finale getting shorter and shorter? I watch this show on TNT, the Closer. I got a measly 10 episodes! Is that supposed to pass for a full season? But the absolute kicker was this new show I was watching on HGTV, All American Handyman. It was supposed to be a competition between 20 guys and girls for the title. If you didn't see it, don't worry, you didn't miss much. Four episodes!!!! That's all. Really???? They eliminated 10 people in the very first show. I don't understand, don't they want me to watch their shows on their network? It's enough to make me turn to network television. Luckily the television Gods have started me with new seasons of other shows. Bones, House, Modern Family, Dancing with the Stars... Personally I think the television producers have ADD. Or maybe they think we do...

My F Bomb Moment

2010-09-24T15:20:00.005-04:00

Okay MiMi I got an F Bomb for ya today. Okay so maybe I'm the only one who considers it F Bomb worthy but guess whose blog this is? So you get to hear about it. Earlier this week, I was innocently getting ready for my day when I discovered...a grey hair. That's right F$%%! I am much much much too young to be going grey. So dear followers I need your advice. Do I leave it alone until it's joined by its friends and family? Do I pluck that sucker out? or Do I rush out for the Clairol and color it into oblivion? What to do..What to do...

Not on my head they don't....

Run around and Run around and Run around some more

2010-09-23T09:11:00.002-04:00

So yesterday, I woke up, got the kids dressed, fed and ready for school and then dropped them off. Then I came back home. Then I went to the bank to get a bank check for just about all my money to bring to closing with me. Than I came home to pick up the hubby. Then I went to my future home for a walk through with the agent. They took all their furniture and left the house still standing so that went well. Then I went to the school to pick up the seven year old because he was complaining of stomach pains and wanted to come home. Then I went to the attorney's office to sign 6 million papers, hand over my check and 3 pints of blood in return for the key to our house. (Yea! Yea! Yea!) Of course at the last minute they tell me that the full oil tank is gonna have to be paid for at a cost of $1320. That's right no warning, just hit me up for an extra grand. And my attorney says I got a good deal....What does he know anyway? Anyway, so back home I go to drop off the hubby so he can pick up his car and go to work, while I pick up the four year old from school and bring them back home. Make out the check (blood suckers) and off to the post office to send it as per instructions. Then to pick up boxes for packing, make dinner, get the kids ready for bed and start calling the utility companies to change things over to our name. Yep, that was my day off. So you wanna see my new house? You know you want to......

Random Facebook Statuses

2010-09-21T09:31:00.000-04:00

I have a very humerous Facebook community. Really it's the only reson I keep Facebook, for entertainment and blog fodder. Here are some of the statuses on my news feed lately.

Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give you a baby. Give her a house, she will give you a home. Give her groceries, she will give you a meal. Give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit. This is totally true.

Grounded for a week woo hooo. Dear mom, Grounding does absolutely nothing to me. If you want me to walk around the house singing 24/7 that's fine with me. Yeah, about two hours of that and I'd be ready to throw her out the house.

Enjoy the weather and that special someone (or someones if you're feeling Wood-ish). Yeah those Tiger Woods jokes never get old.

Almost Friday! You can make it, just avoid any wild dumbasses you may see. They are in season. Amazing, I just saw one yesterday!

I said "no" to drugs but they just wouldn't listen. I know a lot of people with that problem.

Someone was wrong cuz I definitely just watched a pot boil. There's always something to do even in the face of extreme boredom.

Sometimes people are like seagulls...they fly in...shit on everything... and leave. That's when you get out the BB gun.

Feel free to share any funny statuses you've seen lately.

2010-09-20T13:14:00.005-04:00

Okay, so I chickened out. It's really because I love my siblings and didn't want them to have to carry me the last mile of that 5K. They finished in 32 minutes and have now challenged me to beat that time in the next 5K, currently scheduled for October 17. *Sigh* I have less than a month to go from
this

to this.

Anyone got a magic wand?

Random Tuesday News

2010-09-14T09:23:00.012-04:00

It has now become the time of year where you have to put on a sweater in the morning cause it's freezing and then at some point during the day it becomes too warm and you have to carry around your sweater all day long or leave it for your friendly neighborhood homeless person, whatever...

Anyone interested in cheap airline tickets? I thought I was until I saw this...

Apparently some ingenious individual thinks it's a good idea to create a new class of passenger, cheaper than economy. If this is the alternative, I have now become a fan of railroad travel.

This is reason 73463 why I will never live in Florida. Who lives in a place where alligators roam the streets? Certainly not me.

My sister posted this on facebook yesterday...

The State of California posts the names of everyone they have executed and what
their last meal was. You know, in case you were wondering what murderers
feel like eating before they die. Turns out a lot of pizza, fried chicken
and ice cream. One guy ordered two pizzas, three cartons of ice cream and
3 six packs of Coke. How long is their last meal?!?!? There is no
way he drank 18 sodas. What a waste.

I love how my sister is concerned with the misappropriation of Coca-Cola. LOL

Feel free to join the Unmom for Random Tuesday Thoughts, this week featuring peanut butter and jalapenos. You know you want to.

My life, with kids, a job and other stuff designed to ruin my life.

2010-09-13T08:26:00.003-04:00

So I have been a horribly neglectful blogger. I have probably been removed from other people's blogrolls, unfollowed and otherwise erased from the memories of my faithful readers but I swear it's not my fault. First I had a baby on June 24 and heaven knows a six year old, a four year old and an infant who demands to be fed every three hours is work. Don't believe me ask any mom you know. Anyway, I have been trying hard to keep up with the boys despite having the baby. Then, certain government officials who shall remain nameless decided to ruin the economy and my life, forcing me (kicking and screaming) back into the workforce. If that weren't bad enough, it's a sales position based on commission so I can't go there and fool around online while at work. (Well I could, but then I would be getting dressed up and going into work for nothing.) So because working at night and taking care of three kids was not enough, we put an offer on a house. Yippee for having a new house with space for all my books (What, did you think I did it for the kids? Yeah, right.) Boo to packing which I started yesterday. I hate packing... and unpacking. So if you have ever bought a house you may be familiar with the process during which you must produce every single piece of paperwork on your life history and then sign and date six kazillion papers. Every day, I get a call that goes something like this.

Mortgage Processor: Hello, Mrs Rodriguez, I need receipts that prove you spent $6 on coffee last week.
Me: I already sent you a receipt for the entire grocery shopping in which I spent much more than $6.
Mortgage Processor: Yes but according to this receipt you only spent $5.98 on coffee and since tea doesn't count so I'm gonna need you to buy more coffee and send me an additional receipt.

or

Mortgage Processor: Mrs Rodriguez, I recieved the last fax of 30,000 papers but on page 19,062, your husband signed but forgot to date. Please date and then refax that portion.
Me: OK (Then proceed to beat husband over the head for neglecting to date the damn paper.)

Yes, it's that ridiculous. So sometime this century, hopefully they will decide they know enough about me to close on our house so that I will experience the joy of moving. (Not) Seriously, we are about at the point where we are wondering of the whole thing has been a horrendous mistake. That probably means we are about done.

In other news, my sister somehow conned me into signing up for a 5K on Sunday. This should be interesting since I have yet to open the treadmill since having the baby. Don't get me wrong, I usually am pretty gung ho about the running thing and prior to having the baby was considering upping the usual 5k to a 10K but when she broached the subject, I must of had a short circuit in my brain when I failed to realize that I need to train for this kind of thing. Unfortunately after waking at 6 and being with the kids all day and then going to work to stand on my feet for four hours I don't usually come home thinking, yes I want to run 3 miles. If you do, I'm sorry but you should seek help. I still plan to run it so this may be my last week blogging as I will be dead come Monday. It was nice knowing you.

And I'm Still Alive....

2010-06-30T16:31:00.006-04:00

I know you probably thought I fell off the face of the Earth but no, I've just been having a baby. She finally arrived on June 24th at 6 pounds 13 ounces. Anyway it has been an adjustment having an extra little person around the house. I had a fairly normal delivery with just a few stitches in strategic locations. (She just wasn't small enough I guess.) I went into the hospital with contractions on June 3 originally. They told me to go home and lie down and drink water. Completely ignoring the fact that with a six and a four year old at home, there is no lying down allowed, after drinking as much water as I could stand, I lost four pounds in the last three weeks of my pregnancy. Also, the contractions really didn't stop so much as come less frequently. Verrrry Annoying. So I felt some relief when I finally started dialating on the 21st. My water broke early in the morning of the 24th. Baby girl was born at 7:20 am.

Now here is why I love my family. Everyone who brought gifts for the baby also managed to remember mommy. I got cake, wine, and seven books. My family knows me so well. Now that I'm finished with the books I'm just about ready to enter the blogging world again. I'll be around in the next day or so to say hello.

I hope everyone will have a wonderful 4th. We'll be grilling in proper independence day fashion if we can keep from wilting in the upper 90 temperatures which are being forecast.

Sorry I totally meant to post pics with this. Well we'll just have to have a picture post on Monday.

What the Hell Wednesday - 6/2/2010

2010-06-02T12:56:00.003-04:00

You know what the worst thing about a hot, humid day in the 80's? It's having a pool you can't swim in. Picture it, nice cool pool water, hot sunny day, not allowed to get in. WTH, right? Our condo association has the pool only open on weekends until the 20th or something. Fascist pigs. Cheap bastards. Masochists.

So I went to the doctor yesterday. She claims that 1. I haven't gained any weight in 4 weeks and 2. the baby isn't big enough to be 36 weeks. (more like 31 weeks) WTH?! What does that mean? I certainly hope she doesn't expect me to carry this baby another nine weeks because that ain't happening. She referred me for a follow up ultrasound so they could check on things. Idiot doctors.

The four year old has been singing Come Out and Play by The Offspring lately. WTH? I don't even know where he got it from. I mean it may have been on the radio at one point but how he managed to pick up the lyrics is beyond me. Well I suppose it's better than some of the things the six year old sings.

These complaints brought to you by the Blue Monkey Butt sisters, for all your complaining needs...at least on Wednesdays.

Five Question Friday 5/28

2010-05-28T09:22:00.004-04:00

(This is where I get lazy and don't want to think of something original to write and you get to have all your nosy questions answered.) LOL

Five Question Friday!

1. Is there something you've always wanted to try but you can't muster up the courage to actually do yet?

Not really. All the things that I want to do but can't are being held up by pregnancy, children, marriage, money, etc. etc.

2. If you had $100 handed to you in cash without your significant other knowing about it, what would you spend it on?

I'd go out for a really nice lunch with the kids in Ruby Tuesday or something. Then we'd hit the bookstore. (I know, I sooo live on the wild side.)

3. What was your favorite piece of playground equipment as a child?

I always loved the swings. I still do but personally I can't swing as high or fast anymore because I get dizzy. It's very annoying.

4. Do you prefer a sweet or hearty breakfast?

Definitely a hearty breakfast. I don't have much of a sweet tooth. As a matter of fact, I find it difficult to eat sweets at all before lunch. My favorite breakfast is eggs, bacon, home fries, bagels and orange juice.

5. Are you a Neat Freak or a Messy Bessy?

This is a tough one. I really wouldn't consider myself either. In our house it's really a combination of my husband and I that keep the house neat. I can't stand the dirt and he can't stand the clutter. It's a miracle we have anything really. I don't function well when everything is a mess but at the same time I hate to clean. It's a dilemma.

Hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

2010-05-27T10:46:00.005-04:00

Okay first an update on the contractions. I had contraction 8 or 9 minutes apart for most of Tuesday. After I made dinner, gave the kids baths and put them to bed I was able to lay down and put my feet up and they slowed and stopped. (Will wonders never cease?) So from this I can conclude 1) that the baby was objecting to my having to run around doing errands and chores all day or 2) she wants out and I shouldn't stop moving until she does. Guess which one I'm going with? That's the good.

Six year old's think that they are original. This morning my six year old took his vitamin wrapped it up in his napkin and then attempted to throw it away. He was a little surprised by the fact that I was on to him. Then he proceeded to have a temper tantrum on the floor in lieu of taking the aforementioned vitamin. For this bad behavior, he is going to have a very, very bad afternoon.

Now for the ugly behavior of the four year old. He fell asleep in the car on the way home from school. I woke him up to bring him in the house. This was his response. "I don't like you. I don't like Dad and I don't like you. I only like the six year old and myself. I don't like you because I only like people who go away." He quickly changed his tune when I went inside and left him alone outside.

Thank you for joining me for this episode of the good the bad and the ugly. Here's hoping your Thursday has more good and less bad and ugly.

Random Tuesday: Where No One Gets Shot, Unfortunately

2010-05-25T10:10:00.003-04:00

Today is my sister's birthday. The baby girl is trying to steal her birthday. That's right, I'm typing this while having contractions nine minutes apart. Is that blogger dedication or what???

Possibly, they are just Braxton-Hicks. Braxton-Hicks should be shot. Just saying.

Speaking of people who should be shot....my husband was blaming me for because he received a collection letter for a service we cancelled in January. Hello, is it my fault??? I called them and took care of it this morning. Seriously, I don't get paid enough for this crap. Wait. I don't get paid. That sucks. See if he got shot, I'd get paid. I mean, that's what I paid that life insurance bill for. Life is all kinds of not fair.

I hate finales. If they expect me to tune in, it better be for new episodes. Maybe the TV execs should be shot too!

I have to go to the supermarket but I think shopping while having contractions is above and beyond the call of duty. I don't get paid enough for that either.

So that's all for random Tuesday. (Sarcasm provided at no extra charge.)

Monday Morning

2010-05-24T09:59:00.002-04:00

It's Monday and I'm still pregnant. It's enough already I tell you. Anyway, since I'm too tired to do anything, (Even writing this is exhausting) I thought I'd share with you one of my new favorite songs. It's totally appropriate.

Crazy Dreams

2010-05-18T12:30:00.000-04:00

So the other night I had two wild dreams. Normally my dreams are the run of the mill. For instance Mike Holmes coming to build me my dream house. (It totally could happen.) I think.

Anyway, in the first we are going to a museum as a family. (That's not the crazy part even though I doubt my husband would be caught dead in a museum.) So for some reason there is a super long line waiting to park in the parking garage down the street from the museum (as if a huge sporting event was going on or something) So I decided (and here's the crazy part) to let the six year old drop me off in front and park the car himself. So while my son is parking the car in this multi level garage down the street, the hubby and I are walking around looking at paintings. So at some point, I decided that the six year old was taking too long, so walk over to the garage to find him. When I get there I find my car but no son and here's where it occurs to me that he might have gotten lost on the way back from the garage. Then I receive a call from the gatehouse at my condo complex that my son is there and crying cause he can't find me. SMH. How he got there without the car is beyond me.

In the next dream, I'm in Massachusetts going to the movie theater in some hick town somewhere. Now this co-worker of mine asks for directions to said hick town. (Ignore the fact that I don't work and therefore don't have any co-workers) So instead of having GPS like a normal person in this day and age and instead of just printing out directions from Mapquest or Google or Yahoo, I proceed to write out longhand these directions. So this guy keeps making fun of me because for some reason I continuously misspell these directions. Don't ask me why, even as I was having the dream, I was thinking that the words were too simple to be misspelled but there you go.

Anywho, I had these two dreams back to back which might mean something but I don't know what.

What the Hell Wednesday - Men

2010-05-12T13:57:00.003-04:00

So everyday when I go to pick up the four year old from school, he gives me a hard time. He runs and hides from me. He tells me he doesn't want to go home. Obviously, preschool is more fun than coming home, having lunch and taking a nap. Anyway, yesterday, when the four year old finally decided he was ready to go, all the kids in the class came up to get a goodbye hug from him. Seriously, you would think he was going off to war or something. Sometimes my life is a WTH moment.

My husband has been trying to get a second job. Something with night hours. So Hertz called him up and offered him a job provided that he was willing to jump through some hoops. They wanted to do a DMV check, a drug test, and a background check....(so that they know he's qualified to wash their cars) Anyway they call him up because apparently they are having trouble verifying where he went to high school. Apparently the people who work there now don't remember him from thirty years ago. (Shocking, I know.) Did they have computer records back then? Anyway, they called him up to go to an orientation class on Monday (because apparently there is a right and wrong way to wash and park rental cars) So my husband goes off armed with the address, mapquest directions printed out and my gps plugged into his car. He gets lost. WTH? So like a man, he comes home, having not attended the class, having jumped through the Hertz hoops for nothing (since now he's "done with this job") and angry at me because "the GPS didn't work" WTH? Listen, I am totally willing to pull my weight around here and do all the evening chores since my husband has to work two jobs. But I seriously object to having to do all the damn work when he doesn't have a job and is just in a funk because he doesn't know how to follow directions or (God forbid) ask someone for help. So now he has to start all over again looking for a job and jump through someone else's hoops. BTW, did you know you had to answer a 34 page personality test to apply for a job at Pathmark? Seriously, I've met people there with less personality than rocks. How they passed that test is beyond me.

Check out Stacy and Elle for some more WTH moments.

Post It Note Tuesday: 6 year old Field Day Edition

2010-05-11T14:57:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I, as class mom, chaperoned the six year old's field day. I did it last year also so I had a pretty good idea what I was in for. Walking the class eight blocks to the park. Escorting them to different areas of the park for the different activities. Facilitating snack time, lunch time, bathroom breaks. Walking the class the eight blocks back to the school. I didn't know that the first grade teacher was going to be running one of the activities so I would be doing this without her assistance. Want to know what I heard all day?

I'm pretty sure their teacher is on a steady diet of excedrin and valium. Or a saint. I'm just glad I only have one six year old in my house.

Award and Getting to Know you.....

2010-05-08T14:20:00.004-04:00

I got an award!!!! Thank you Mrs M!

So as usual these awards have rules. I try to play along when I can. (or at least when it's convenient.) This one asks that I share 7 things about myself. So I stole some questions from

1. What has been your most memorable Mother's Day?

Well my favorite was when my sisters took my mother and I out for lunch. It is always cool to me that my sisters go out of their way to wish me a Happy Mother's Day . (BTW Thanks Paloma for the chocolate covered strawberries which I got yesterday since I won't see her on Mother's Day.) See, aren't they cool?

2. Have you ever been pulled over for speeding and were you able to talk your way out of it?

No, I've never been pulled over for speeding. Maybe I'm too fast for the radar guns to catch. No, that's probably not it.

3. What's the oldest thing you have hanging in your closet?

My high school letter sweater. (Track captain, thank you very much.)

4. Do you whiten your teeth?

Only if whitening toothpaste counts.

5. Underwear or panties...What do you call your unmentionables?

Panties, although I don't usually go around discussing them. Hence, the un in unmentionables.

6. If you could go on vacation right now, today...where would you go?

I assume this means I have an unlimited budget as well. In which case, a western caribbean cruise of at least a week. or two. okay twist my arm, three.

7. Do you get offended when people cuss on their blogs?

No. Sometime the occasional F bomb is necessary to express a point. Having said that I don't think I would regularly read someone who was F this and Mother effing that every other word. That would be annoying.

8. If you had to give up one luxury item, it would be?

My cell phone. People could just call my house phone, or email me.

So now I have to pass on this award to some other bloggers. Since Mother's Day is tomorrow I decided to pass it on to some mom bloggers who have been having a tough time. After all don't presents make everyone feel better?

The Unknown Mami
Lucy the Valiant
Mama-Face

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Introducing....My baby shower

2010-05-05T09:58:00.007-04:00

So here are some pictures of my baby shower. I could post 100 photos like my sister did on Facebook but that would be boring and I like you better than that.

My sister in law and her daughter.

My sisters who never miss a good photo opportunity.

The haul of goodies.

Food, like at any good Latino party.

The obligatory diaper cake. A.K.A. how to make the gift of diapers look festive.

The kids a.k.a. birth control for the single and childless.

Me.

Random Tuesday Information

2010-05-04T09:49:00.002-04:00

I had a baby shower on Saturday. Yay!!!! Photos to be posted tomorrow. Today is random Tuesday. Which means I am still organizing/unpacking my goodies.

My husband decided to paint the room yesterday which means the whole house smelled like paint fumes just as I was going to bed. (Cause my asthma wasn't bad enough yet.)

I watched Tori and Dean yesterday. Tori was getting ticked off with Dean cause he's sex obsessed and interested in motorcycles. So here's a message for Tori. All men are sex obsessed. I'd worry when he stops being interested in sex and becomes interested in shopping and decorating like your gays.

Mimi's Read with Girlfriend's book club is reading the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. She explained that the first chapter had weird names cause they're Swedish so she renamed them Blowhard and Weinerschnitzel. Then she explained that the second chapter is better containing an investigator, a murder, a weird family and other weird stuff. Personally I think that's much better than the Amazon review. Maybe she has a new career in the making.

My sons fight over the television remote. So the new rule is they take turns. So here's how that goes. Four year old picks Nick Jr. Six year old picks Discovery channel. Four year old picks Nick Jr. Six year old picks National Geographic channel. Four year old picks Nick Jr. Six year old picks HBO. I take the remote and put on news.

I totally forgot today was gym day. I had to go home and get the six year old's gym clothes and drive back to the school so he could change. When I got there he was near tears because he said some of the boys were teasing him cause he wasn't dressed for gym. Some six year old boys should be shot. I'm just saying.

If you think I'm random, check out the Unmom.

Things Kids Say Thursday :Video Edition

2010-04-29T16:40:00.004-04:00

So since I'm not feeling well I decided to let the kids take over. So it's really a Things Kids Do Thursday but whatever, let's not quibble with semantics.

After watching this, the 6 year old said, take that red guy out, he's ruining the video! Personally I thought he had hardly any time on camera so gave him an opportunity to star in his own video.

What the Hell am I Doing Sick?

2010-04-28T10:47:00.004-04:00

Want to know what really sucks? Being pregnant and unable to take anything! My throat hurts, my nose is stuffy, I'm sneezing and coughing... I have been informed that I can take Tylenol if a fever develops. That's soooo not helpful. Now why is it when I am so tired, my body is physically exhausted, I can't sleep? WTH? Doesn't it realize if I got some sleep, I just might feel better? I decided its the weather's fault. First its nice and warm and sunny, then its cold and rainy, then its rainy and warm, then cold and sunny and supposedly tomorrow, hot and sunny again. If the weather was a person, it would be a multiple personality.

Well that's my complaint for the day, I'm too tired to think of anything else. For more creative posts, see the Blue Monkey Butt sisters.

It's the Monday Minute, 4/26

2010-04-26T10:13:00.001-04:00

So I decided to join Ian's Monday Minute this week. If you don't already know about it feel free to check it out.

So now's your chance to find out some completely random stuff about me via Ian's questions.

1. What drugs have you done in your life?

Oh the usual, Tylenol, Advil and the occasional Vicoden.

2. A/S/L

Can I just tell you that I had to have that translated for me. Google informs me that it means Age/Sex/Location. The fact that I had to look it up tells you all you need to know about my age. If I tell you anymore, I'd have to put a hit out on you. As for my sex I'm a girl. Have you noticed all the pink around here? Unless you wanted a yes/no answer in which case yes I have some. Case in point, baby now currently residing in tummy. My location is Union County, NJ which for those not in the know is the North East section of Jersey.

3. Do you pick your nose?

No, God picked mine out and I'm happy with it.

4.What's your favorite childhood cartoon?

This question assumes that as a child I watched cartoons enough to have a favorite. Not so much true.

5. List the URL of the best blog post you've ever done.

What? This one doesn't count? I like to think of myself as a great wine that just gets better with time. So today's is the best followed by yesterday's followed by the day before. It just makes sense. Doesn't it?

Choices, choices

2010-04-23T15:41:00.000-04:00

The six year old has been doing much much better with his spelling. This is because I have been drilling the words over and over into his head on the Thursday night before his test and also Friday morning on the way to school. This has resulted in three perfect scores in a row. Woohoo!!!!!

This week he steadfastly refused. He was whining, crying, deliberately misspelling words. (Generally being a pain in my rear.) So I gave him a choice. He could be punished all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday (No TV, no computer, no DS) or he could work on his spelling. Guess what he chose? That's right, the fun fun punishment!

It's gonna be a long weekend....

Dear Husband

2010-04-22T23:18:00.000-04:00

Dear Hubby,

Lately you have been frustrated with my laziness. I'm sorry. Here's the thing though. Those two hours when the boys are in school are my only time when absolutely no one wants anything from me. (except for you who obviously want me to be slaving in the house at that time.) So it is hard for me to give up my peace and quiet/computer time and do mundane chores like laundry and mopping.

Good news though. In two months, the baby will be born and both boys will be out of school so I will have no peace, no quiet and no free time and so no reason not to do the chores. Hold on until then, okay?

Love you,
Your wife not your slave

Post It Note Tuesday House Hunter Edition

2010-04-20T13:18:00.003-04:00

We have been trying to find a bigger house to live in since I don't want to share a room with baby girl forever. (9 months in utero is enough, really) Here's some post it notes to let you know how our search has been going.

Here's hoping the next one is better. Wish us luck.

Four going on Sixteen?

2010-04-19T09:45:00.002-04:00

So it was a quiet Sunday morning. We had just finished our breakfast of pancakes and sausage. My husband and I were downstairs reading the morning paper while the boys were upstairs playing. Or so I thought. Now I realize I should have been more suspicious of the quiet and utter lack of banging and yelling. Anyway the four year old comes downstairs holding his chin which is bleeding with both hands. There is blood all over his hands as well. Questioning the six year old was no help. Apparently he was absorbed on the computer and saw nothing. Or so he claims... Finally, the four year old confessed. He was in our bathroom and decided to give shaving a try. Just took daddy's razor and cut the skin right off his chin. I'm just amazed he wasn't hysterical crying. He went around the rest of the day with a Diego bandage on his chin. Personally, I think he was proud of himself. I told my husband he better keep his blades on a higher shelf from here on out.

Things Kids Say Thursday #6

2010-04-15T10:33:00.000-04:00

4 year old: Can I have a snack?
Me: You just had a snack. How many snacks do you need?
4 year old: 2
6 year old: 3 hundred, 5 thousand and 10.

4 year old: Do you want to have a vacation in Paradise? Cause it looks nice there.
Me: Yes. (Who doesn't?)

4 year old: Oh! Great piles of catfish! (I think he heard this on Veggie Tales and was just waiting for the right opportunity to use it.)

4 year old's teacher: Oh are you Prince Charming? (He was wearing a shirt which had a frog with a crown on it.) He looks at her with a puzzled face.

Teacher: What happens when you kiss the frog? He turns into a prince!

4 year old: This is just a shirt.

4 year old:If I eat a lot of food, I'll get a big tummy with a baby in it, right mom?

4 year old: I love you.

Me: I love you too. (Kisses me.)

4 year old: Do my kisses make you happy?

I'm Baaaaack!

2010-04-14T13:37:00.002-04:00

Now don't tell me. You didn't even notice I was gone. That's so sad.

The kids were off all last week on Easter break and so rather than stick around the house and let them drive me nuts, I planned lots of excursions. We had picnics in the park, kite flying, a hike in the woods (seven months pregnant, one hour hike, 95 degree temperatures, guess how that went), a barbecue and went to a show. We also started soccer season last week. The worst part about this is the boys are on different teams which play the same day in different fields. (And, as was the case on Saturday, at the same time.) Since I haven't mastered bilocation yet, I was forced to rely on family members to stay with the six year old while I took the four year old to his game. Luckily this week one has a game at 9 am while the other isn't until 11:30 so it will give me plenty of time to go from one to the other. (Of course this also means I can say goodbye to leisurely Saturday mornings for the time being.)

Now back to your regularly scheduled program....

Letters on Facebook, Part III

2010-04-13T14:10:00.001-04:00

So if you've ever had a birthday on facebook, you get a lot of birthday wishes even from relatives whom you haven't seen in years. Is there anything more boring than a whole page of Happy Birthday, happy birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Happy Birthday over and over and over? My stepsons had a birthday a couple of weeks ago, they're twins. So most people (poor unoriginal saps) sent the same message to both. For instance, Happy Birthday to my handsome nephew, have a great day! (twice, as if they were the same person or something) I, of course not being either boring or unoriginal chose to put this.

Dear Joshua,

Since I've noticed all your political statuses lately For some reason, he was in favor of the health care bill and was posting about it nonstop, I thought you might be interested to know that you share a birthday with Al Gore. Personally, I think he's a tree hugger and a sore loser but then I don't have to share a birthday with him, do I? Don't worry, we don't have to get into it today, I know this whole liberal thing is a phase you young people go through. I, too, was a liberal for like three minutes in 1988. Then after I was hospitalized for a loss of blood, I got over it. Bleeding hearts aren't my thing. Anyway, happy birthday!

Love your evil stepmother,

Cassie

and for the other...

Dear Joseph,

Happy Birthday! It's unfortunate that you have to spend it in that terrible place known as Miami. I still can't believe people live there, ON PURPOSE. I heard a rumor that it is going to be 80 and sunny out there today. I'm glad to hear you are getting a break from the constant hurricanes. Of course, as you already know, too much sunshine causes cancer, so enjoy your day outside today and then quickly hide inside with the shade and air conditioning....or move to NJ We hardly ever get hurricanes, floods maybe..., your choice.

Love,

Cassie

So better than just happy birthday, right? It's the gift of laughter, your welcome.

Letters on Facebook, Part II

2010-04-05T11:26:00.000-04:00

Some of you may have seen my post last week on the letters our family was writing on Facebook. If you didn't (because you were living under a rock or you suck) check it out here.

Anyway, my brother didn't send one to me. Instead when he got back, he decided to post the following to my other brother. To fully get this letter you have to know that David gets his kicks on Facebook by messing with his profile page. At the time of this post, he was a widower living in Cape May but formerly from Flatbush. He's also a surgeon who gives museum tours in his spare time while waiting to graduate from high school. (yeah none of this is true.)

Dear David,

Over the weekend the women decided to profess their love for one another Facebook style. They neglected to mention the men in their lives. We can't help it if you were lame and out of touch. Now since you and I know how we feel about each other (we're way too cool for public displays of sibling affection) I propose we profess our love of butt nekkid hoes, hood rats, fly honeys and old-fashioned prostitutes. And all this time I thought a ho was a ho was a ho. Obviously, I've lived a sheltered life. To do this, I think we need to take our space shuttle to go kayaking on the moon with some of Tiger Wood's leftovers Wait. He left some?, then pour out a little liquor for your dead wife in Flatbush and celebrate her life and times by visiting all the gentleman's establishments in the greater Cape May area. Yeah that's exactly what I want my husband to do when I'm gone. Right after he goes blind with grief. What say you?

J.

Unfortunately David did not respond so I did instead.

Dear Little Brother, Yes, his status as nearly two years younger means that despite the fact that he is half a foot taller than me, he will always be little.

This is to warn you of heading to places without Internet service (like Massachusetts). Not only do you miss out on sending me letters for the cyber world's amusement but you are also reduced to semi attired women and booze for entertainment. Lucky for you it was cold and rainy this weekend or you would have also missed out on a rockin barbecue. You have been warned.

Cassie

My favorite older sister, Despite the fact that I am his only older sister, I choose to take this as a compliment.

You know that feeling when you check the mailbox and you have a letter from a good friend you never hear from? If I never hear from them, why are they my friends? No? Me either. We're not THAT old. Got that right. But I've heard that it's a pretty good feeling. This must be almost like that, only completely different. Because let's face it, there's no feeling like getting a letter that you asked -nay, demanded- from someone. Hopefully this letter feels like that feeling you get from a friend who forgot your actual birthday but called you like a week later and said happy belated birthday. You mean friends in the hospital with amnesia? Cause that's the only acceptable excuse. You know that feeling? Again, not so much. Me either. Anyway for your next blog, if you could write to the writers of ALL reality TV, I would appreciate it because American Idol isn't the only reality show that sucks this year. (See Stars, Dancing with the and Apprentice, Celebrity) K Thanks. Bye.

Sometime after these posts and the corresponding 64 comments that followed mine (not even the record yet) my brother posted this status. J is getting ready to delete 6.3 million emails from facebook...thanks girls. To which I responded, Your welcome, of course.

April Fool's Pranks in Mexico

2010-04-02T08:36:00.004-04:00

Yesterday the four year old had school and the six year old didn't. Excited about his day off of school, I told him that he would be going to school with the four year old. At first, he assumed I was joking but when we arrived at the school, he started to believe me. "I don't want to go to their school! It's for babies!" The four year old was concerned that the six year old didn't have a coat hook labeled with his name but I told him that no one would mind if he hung his jacket on an unlabeled hook. That's when the tears started. "No pleeeease Mom! I don't want to go to school!" Is it wrong that I found this to be hilariously funny? Anyway I let him know I was only April Fooling and we went on with our day. We went out for lunch with my sisters and brother about a half hour or so away from home and the six year old kept asking where we were going. Of course, since we were going to Baja's Mexican Grill, I told him we were going to Mexico for lunch. Despite the fact that he seemed like he didn't believe us and we told him he would know we arrived in Mexico when he saw the sombreros and the Mariachi band, he told my husband all about it when he got home. "Dad, we went to Mexico for lunch. They had a Taco Bell there and everything!"

What the Hell Wednesday

2010-03-31T12:42:00.004-04:00

Lately, my husband has been home in the mornings to "help" me get the kids ready for school. Notice the quotes. That's because when I say help, I really mean get in my way, make everything take twenty minutes longer than it needs to and give me another person that I have to listen complain before 7 am. Say for instance I make pancakes for the kids one morning. Now on this particular morning, the six year old decided he didn't like syrup. I don't know why. Anyway, my normal response would be, well eat your pancakes without them or starve until lunch. Cause I'm that kind of mom. My husband's response was to pull out another pan and make him eggs instead. What the hell? Now I have an additional pan to clean as well as having lost all the time it took him to make the eggs. Thanks for the "help" hun. Also telling me that I have to get up earlier even with the extra help so we can get out the door ontime, not helpful.

So apparently I am having a baby shower. Now this wasn't a surprise. Having a large and loving family, I had a good idea that one was going to be planned at some point. However, already knowing the location does not bode well for their surprise giving abilities. Of course involved in the planning are my sister-in-law and my husband, two of the worst secret keepers in the history of secret keeping. So should I just pretend to not know or should they just give up on the whole surprise thing?

The other day I was sent a message online from a random Julio Rodriguez that said "love that last name cuz its mine" What the hell? Does he send messages like that to all the Rodriguezes on Facebook? Cause I'm guessing I'm not the only Rodriguez on Facebook. Really he must be seriously hard up for friends and family if that's the best he could do.

I thought this sign was particularly appropriate for What the Hell Wednesday. Feel free to join in on the free flowing bitchfest by linking up with the Blue Monkey Butt Sisters.

The Dumbest Law Ever, at Least So Far.

2010-03-30T13:19:00.002-04:00

So I am innocently going to Dunkin Donuts the other day when I notice this sign in the parking lot.
WARNING
NEW JERSEY STATE STATUE MAKES IDLING OF VEHICLES FOR MORE THAN THREE (3) MINUTES A VIOLATION OF THE N.J. CLEAN AIR ACT

Really?! Are they serious? I certainly hope there isn't a line in Dunkin Donuts because if you send your significant other in for a coffee and a donut, you can't wait in the car more than three minutes before you are breaking the law. They want you to turn the car off and sit there with no air, no heat, no music. I guess when I go to pick up my son I can't arrive four minutes early because I might be breaking the law. So those other fifty cars of parents (some of which show up twenty minutes early) are, that's right, breaking the law. Funny, I haven't seen any officers walking around giving tickets for this. Probably because it is the least enforceable statute ever written since the no driving and texting law. Or perhaps it's because all those speed traps the police love to set up? Yeah, they involve breaking that same law.

Lessons on Being Entertaining on Facebook

2010-03-29T09:59:00.003-04:00

Some people get on facebook to play games, some join fanpages, others update their statuses hourly with scintilating information like "just finished eating" and "fell and scraped my knee :(" Although some of the fan pages amuse me like "Hi, Can I help you? No I just waited 15 minutes in line to say hi." Mostly my interaction with my family is what cracks me up. So I thought I'd share my wall with you for your amusement and entertainment. (Also because then I don't have to think up something new to write.) I wrote this on my sister Daniela's wall because some of my other sister's were writing her letters. (Commentary will be in blue.) They were mostly requesting to be tagged in her status since she was tagging her friends and her friends were tagging her back.
Dear Daniela,
Clearly I can not be silent when everyone else is writing you letters. I am way behind on my stalking since I am just now discovering the joy which is your page. Did I forget to mention that checking out other family member's wall can also be entertaining. Cause it is. I blame my husband who is still on the computer. Facebook addict. I had to type this letter out at 3 words a minute on the Blackberry. I am not asking for a status message but rather my own wall of letters for my amusement.
Thank you, Cassie.
PS This is an open letter to all family members. Now check out how much my family loves me/caters to my every whim. In less than fifteen minutes, I had my first letter.

Dear Cassie,
The other day I went to the used bookstore in Hoboken. The sign said books were $5 each, but I told the woman I didn't have enough cash on me. So I got two books for $7. No one quite appreciated how happy this made me. I thought you might understand. Do I understand?!? I think we need to be testing this envelope by going there with "not enough cash" regularly. Because the only thing better than two books for $7 would be three books for $9.
Love,
Carla
PS You got a lotta nerve demanding letters for your amusement when your blog has not been updated. I know because I've checked every hour since I've come home from work. Love you! Someone misses me when I don't blog! Yay! Notice the fresh new blog entry. Your welcome.

Dear Cassie, Sadly I had to wait until the next morning for this one. I guess I wasn't the only one falling behind on the page stalking.
Do you know how much pressure it puts on a person to demand a funny letter on their wall? So congratulations. Here is an unfunny letter. Now everyone loses. Hope you are happy.
apathetically,
Alicia Okay, I don't see how a letter that ends apathetically could possibly be anything but funny but you be the judge.

Dearest Older Sister, Was that an age crack?
I too blame your husband for your lack of recent blogs, and your siblings resulting boredom. Good cause it is totally his fault and really that isn't the only thing we could blame him for. However, it is great timing since I have just began my vacation and will therefore be spending lots of time at your house, making memorable moments that will still be on your mind by the time you get your computer back. Notice the memorable moment we created in cyberspace. Yeah we are that good.
Love,
Yolanda
PS If your husband is going to be taking all the time on the computer, he should at least consider writing a blog for our amusement. I mean someone should be entertaining us. I am much funnier online. He is funnier in person while drinking alcoholic beverages. Just saying. And I'm still trying to figure out a way to erase his memory of Facebook.

Dear Most Amazing Sister in the World, She's right. I so am.
good news. I saw a dog today. Have you ever seen a dog? I bet you have. Why is your coat big? are they your friends? do they have big coats too? I painted a picture of a butterfly. No, she isn't six years old, she is just channeling her inner child, who may be only four, I'm not sure.
Love your favorite sister and children's babysitter, Now that's why I love you.
Pamela
PS although your blogs are few and far between, they're not that bad! it makes them more amazing when we get them Awww. also I'm not upset because you gave me backup blogs to read while I wait for yours. You are welcome, blogroll.

Dear Cassie,

˙ɹǝʇɹɐɯs ɥɔnɯ ʇɐɥʇ noʎ sǝʞɐɯ ʇsnɾ ʇɐɥʇ uǝɥʇ 'sʎɐs sıɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʇno ǝɹnƃıɟ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı oS ˙ɹǝʇʇǝl ʎɯ ɹoɟ ǝƃuǝllɐɥɔ ɐ ɟo ʇıq ɐ ʎoɾuǝ ʇɥƃıɯ noʎ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ I Not only can I read it, I can do it too.
Anyway my dear, I miss you dearly and can not wait until we can spend more days together with your boys at the park. I realize it is not as unemotional and cynical as the letters Alicia may write, but I have a heart dammit and I'm not afraid to use it. Don't worry, upside down writing is almost as interesting as apathy and cynicism.
Cordially yours,
Paloma

Dear Cassie, Don't worry this is the last one. Luckily my brother was out of town somewhere where they haven't invented the internet yet. Really, that's his only excuse.
I wish I could write upside down like Paloma see, I told you it was interesting. but alas I cannot. However, I firmly believe my hackin awesomeness can make up for the fact that I cannot write you an upside down letter. I would like to put in a request to be put into your blog. Please note: you are in the blog. I am clearly cooler than Paloma therefore you should write all about me. Writing about me would totally bring you more followers. Really? Trust me. Just do it. You'll see. Why does she sound like a drug dealer or pedophile? Anyways, I will be getting my permit soon which is very exciting. For you maybe, not so much for the other drivers on the road. When I get my license, I'm gonna hang out with you and your children all the time. Not unless they are giving out cars with those licenses these days. We should check with Obama and call it cars for permits. I'd totally take the test again. you won't be able to get rid of me. Well actually you probably will be but that's beside the point. It's just gonna be me and Paloma partying it up with you and your sons and your daughter! okay enough for now.
Love your pretty hackin awesome little sister,
Daniela

Now if you think this is a long post, count your blessings I didn't put the comments following these posts. That last one had 39 comments. This is why friends and coworkers avoid our statuses like the plague.

Dear Someone

2010-03-25T11:55:00.003-04:00

Dear Old Man,

The other day you came out of the house to tell me I should take my kids to the park instead of letting them "bother" people. Excuuuuse me?!? So now riding their scooters in their own neighborhood at 4 in the afternoon is "bothering" people? Let me tell you what bothers me...old men who can't mind their own business and have no job to go to at 4 in the afternoon and so feel the need to yell at me about it. It's not my fault someone decided to lay your butt off so they wouldn't have to deal with you. Go bother the people at unemployment and leave me and my kids alone.

Sincerely,
Neighbor Who Would Be Happier Without You

Dear American Idol contestants,

This is the lamest season ever! The only thing worse than not picking any songs I like (or know) is picking ones I like and then butchering them by singing off key. Do better next week with the R&B or I'll really have to find something better to do with my time. And no one wants that.

Thanks,
Not Even Looking Up From My Book Anymore

Dear Jodi Picoult,

I know you pride yourself on your surprise endings but do they have to be cryptic as well? If you are really set on the ending, making the rest of the book a lot more boring would also work for me. That way, I'd be able to put it down before I get disappointed by the ending. At any rate, my mother thinks that you are sure to run out of diseases any day now so maybe this whole letter will be pointless.

Yours Truly
A Fan (Kind of)

Linking up with ShortMama for more letter fun.

Facebook Fantasies and Other Nonsense

2010-03-22T12:51:00.003-04:00

So the other day when I was giddily enjoying the spring weather, I was also spending a lot of time in my car with the windows down and the radio on. I guess my family was enjoying it as well because it all started when Yolanda posted this to my page. "Flashback who's that, dancing to the latest." Now if you aren't in our inner circle, you might not know immediately that that is a song quote which is supposed to be followed by the next line of the song. Luckily Paloma jumped in with "I'm talking Square Biz to you Baby!" Twenty comments later, after we had a good laugh at one of my other sisters who thought this song said Real Love instead of Square Biz, we were busy posting these other quotes. "Why waste your time, you know you're gonna be mine..." "I came to get down, I came to get down..." and "I'm kind of buzzed and it's all because...". If you know the songs put it in the comments (and this does not refer to family members who already know the answers) You are obligated to join in since as my brother said, friends don't let friends sing alone. Anyway, this giddy facebook exchange led to an impromtu dinner party at my house. After which Paloma wrote "I love that this family can turn a facebook fantasy into reality. So in the spirit of giddy Wednesdays being better than rainy Mondays, I'm posting these songs....

Because this is what Real Love sounds like in a song.....

Cause since I love you, I'd take a bullet for you, not in the head but like in the leg or something...

Because to my family the nineties is apparently old school....

Things Kids Say Thursday #6

2010-03-18T12:11:00.002-04:00

I'm on the computer and the six year old comes up to me.

Six year old: Can I have a snack?

Me: Yeah, hold on a minute. I want to finish this before I lose my train of thought.

Six year old: Mom, the computer isn't going to run away.

Me: How do you know? I could've sworn I saw it's little feet moving.

Me: You can't just eat french fires, you have to eat meat too.

Four year old: That's my story, Four year old eats french fries.

Me: War games are not appropriate for six year olds.

Six year old: Does that include tug of war?

Four year old: (sees my pregnancy widget) HaHa, that baby looks funny!

Me: You like it?

Four year old: No! It has a tail!

Four year old: When I laugh, it makes me happy!

What the Hell Wednesday...Or Not.

2010-03-17T10:43:00.003-04:00

Well if you are here to read my weekly, complaining, rant courtesy of the Blue MonkeyButt Sisters, you're are going to be sadly disappointed. I am having a great day! The sun is shining, the high is going to be 65! I also heard that on Friday it is going to be sunny and 71 which since the boys will be off from school, makes it a perfect day for an outing. Also, yesterday afternoon, I noticed the lilies are growing in my yard. Signs of spring!!!!! Aren't I perky and annoying? I know, what the hell, right?

I am also very enthused about the baby suddenly. I think that nesting thing is upon me. I gave the hubby instructions on what to move and if I can get my sister in law to go with me, I think I'll be registering for some new gear this weekend. So super, super excited to see baby stuff around!! I know, I know, perky and annoying again, right? I'll try to tone it down.

I thought about doing a wishful Wednesday with Kelsey but I didn't think it would make a whole post but here goes anyway.

I wish I could win the lottery real soon and I would hope to ...... (the real question is would I continue working or quit my job.)

Since I don't work outside the home.....no I wouldn't quit. I would however buy a really big, really nice house and then hide as much money as I could from my husband, the spendthrift. BTW, my husband says this isn't a wish, it's his retirement plan. After all the money he's invested in the lotto, they owe him.

Random Post-It Notes

2010-03-16T10:40:00.004-04:00

In Which I am Maimed

2010-03-15T09:33:00.004-04:00

Coming from a large family, we usually had to wait awhile before getting things. As a result I didn't get my first bicycle until I was ten or eleven. I didn't get to go pick out my bicycle, I think my father had some vague plan for surprising us. Anyway this is pretty close to the bike he came home with which only confirmed for me the fact that my parents have no idea who I am. See, I like pink, NOW. When I was ten, I was an ardent little feminist tomboy who wanted no part of anything pink because it was for girls and therefore must be inferior in some way to the stuff for boys. I wanted a cool mountain bike on which I could do tricks. This is not what I had envisioned. And really the actual bicycle I got was much worse than this. It had pink and white streamers, a white basket with plastic flowers on it, it was just all kinds of horrid. (Of course my parents probably thought it was the best bike in the shop and that they were giving their eldest child the best bike EVER, but I was completely ungrateful.) Anyway, if my parents had any thoughts about me riding this bike sedately in the park, I crushed those dreams into oblivion. First I used my bike as a bus to cart all my sisters on rides around the parking lot. This is before they had those laws about helmets so you can imagine a couple of girls careening around the lot with no helmets at high speeds (because what fun would it have been otherwise?) Anyway, despite my parents continually telling me that my bike was not supposed to be for passengers I continued to take them up sometimes two at a time. Of course for me as the driver this was still pretty tame. After all I wanted to do tricks. So I did no hands. I brought both my feet on to the left side of the bike and glided. I was pretty pleased with my skills....until the day I was showing off for one of the neighborhood kids and while doing one of my tricks careened directly into a parked car and went flying. Okay, so I wasn't maimed. But there was a lot of blood and it got infected and left a scar, so it definitely counts. P.S. I looked up the bicycle laws in NJ and part of the law states that "bicyclists should not drive the bicycle with feet removed from the pedals, or with both hands removed from the handlebars or practice any trick or fancy driving in the street. Limit passengers only to the number the bicycle is designed and equipped to carry." So either they heard about my antics and are now trying to ruin the fun of all the children of today or I was a rebel and a rule breaker and didn't even know it. Kids don't try this at home.

Special Day

2010-03-12T13:07:00.006-05:00

Tomorrow is a very special day. What? You don't have the holiday marked off on your calendars? What is wrong with you people? Tomorrow is my birthday! So tomorrow I am getting my hair done and going out to dinner with the crazies that make up my family. Since I won't be blogging tomorrow, we have to celebrate today. What to do ... what to do.... Well, some people got the memo and sent presents. (I do accept belated gifts so don't despair.) I have two awards which I haven't posted up yet. I know I've been a very bad blog award recipient. But since tomorrow's my birthday, you can't get mad!!!

This happy award is from MamaO.
The usual rules for this award are to say 10 things which make me happy. Now being pregnant and hormonal (that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.) this is my list. This is not a ranked list since it is subject to change at anytime.

1. Mexican food (especially Margaritas, *sigh*)
2. Italian food
3. Puerto Rican food
4. Hot Sandwiches
5. Steaks
6. Seafood
7. Chinese food
8. Cheesecake
9. White chocolate
10. Potato chips

Now this award is from Stephanie @ The Blue Zoo.
Now I'm supposed to tell you some things you don't know about me yet. Now, that all depends on how faithfully you have been reading my blog, doesn't it? It's almost like a test. Anyway, to take the pressure off me because it's my birthday, I stole some questions from

Mama M @ Five Crooked Halos.

How much time do you spend on the computer a day?
Well it all depends on the day, doesn't it? During the week I usually manage to carve out a full two hours for myself between dropping off the four year old and having to pick him up again. On the weekends, I rarely manage to get on the computer at all.

Will you pay for your children's college or raise them to pay their own way?
Hmph. I had to pay my own way and I'm still paying. Not fun. I would like to say that I will pay for everything but I will most likely encourage them to get scholarships and apply to state schools which will only cost me an arm or so. (as opposed to both arms and legs)

Have you ever been in a car accident?
I am not one of those people who have never gotten into an accident. The worst was a head on collision with a tractor trailer. It wasn't my fault. I slid on a sheet of ice and the truck was in my way.

What is you favorite book?
This is a tough one. I can easily read five books or so a week. This makes it hard to choose only one. I do have favorite authors whom I always pick up when I see a new one but I read across genres so there are more than one of those as well.
Dick Francis - mysteries and horse racing that take place in Britain
Nora Roberts - Ranges from contemporary romantic fiction to ghosts, vampires and witches
Mary Balogh - Historical romantic fiction
Catherine Anderson - Contemporary western romances
Elizabeth Peters - Historical mysteries about archaeology

Do you make your bed everyday?
Only when I can't trick my husband into doing it first.

Now that we've become closer friends, I'm sure you are feeling guilty for not getting me a present. It's okay, I also accept cash.

Things Kids Say Thursday #5

2010-03-11T09:59:00.001-05:00

So joining in on the Things Kids Say Thursdays. They might not necessarily be funny but they always make me smile. This is inspired by Mudpies for Mommy.

Six year old: (while feeling his hair) I think I need a haircut, it's as puffy as a cake.

Four year old:(feeling his hair) Not me! Mine's as flat as a pancake.

Four year old: Mom, is that a church?

Me: Yes

Six year old: Whose church is it?

Me: Do you mean what saint? It's St. Joseph's church.

Six year old: St Joseph! I know him!

Four year old: I think I am having a baby.

Me: No you're not. Only mommies can have babies.

Four year old: Yes I am. (Lifts up shirt) Look how big my stomach is.

Four year old and six year old are fighting over toy. I ask the four year old, what is this called anyway?

Four Year old: Super Why uses it to go Zap!

Me: Yes, I know but what does he call it?

Four year old: A zapper? (I found out later it's a Why Writer but kids will fight over anything even when they don't know what it is.)

Four year old: I'm sooo tired. I'm so upset of you.

Me: ????

Four year old: ZZZZZZZ

Six year old: You have to cut all this hair off.

Hubby: OK, I'll cut it all off and you can look bald like Charlie Brown.

Six year old: Charlie Brown isn't bald.

Four year old: Charlie Brown has a circle round head, sooo you can call him Circle roundhead Charlie Brown.

My husband was upset because he found out that his mom in Puerto Rico was in the hospital and had a mild heart attack. He was upset and had said something about her dying.

Six year old: Why are you so upset? It's no big deal if she dies.

Me: That isn't a nice thing to say.

Six year old:(puzzled face) But when you die, you live forever in heaven.

What the Hell Wednesday - Baby Names

2010-03-10T09:52:00.005-05:00

Here's my weekly rant courtesy of the Blue MonkeyButt Sisters.

Generally, I don't mind people getting excited because I'm pregnant. I don't mind people knowing. (It's easier for them to give up their seats for me and get me food when they know I'm pregnant.) I don't even mind them touching the belly because sometimes the contortions the baby is doing in there are unbelievable. The free unwanted advice generally goes in one ear and out the other. (Pretty much if I don't already know about it, I don't want to know or I would've asked.) The thing that is my personal pet peeve is the name game. As soon as people find out that I know the sex, they right away want to get into what her name is going to be. Even if I already had a name picked out, I wouldn't tell anyone. Here's the reason...People love to spoil a perfectly good name. Say I picked Jennifer (never gonna happen) As soon as I told someone, I would hear some story about how they knew this bitch/slut/bully named Jennifer. WTH? Either that or it's oh my sister/aunt/best friend is named Jennifer! News flash... I have seven sisters, two brothers and my husband has five sisters and one brother. Between us, we pretty much have enough baggage connected with at least half the names in the phone book so we don't need anyone else's. Oh and making this face when I tell you the name is also not appropriate.

If I tell you the name it is because I want you to love it and tell me how brilliant I am. Obviously!

Post It Notes

2010-03-09T15:07:00.006-05:00

The Mouse and the Stove

2010-03-08T08:14:00.007-05:00

So since I recently had a scare where my husband "might" have seen a mouse in our home, it brought back all the traumatic mouse stories of my childhood. This is the best or most traumatic, whatever.

We lived in a home which had mouse troubles from time to time. I could blame this on the fact that my mother worked full time, my father never cleaned and there were six children living in the house at the time but it wasn't just us. Our whole building was infested and we had the joy of living on the first floor directly above the garbage collection room. We (our nine story building)had to throw our garbage down these little chutes where it magically disappeared. In reality it was collected in larger bags in the basement until garbage day. Anyway, on this particular evening my father caught a mouse in a clear vase where it was jumping up and down in an effort to get out while my father held a broom over it to keep it in. (Shudder) Anyway, this is where I have adopted my first fact of mouse life. There is never just one mouse. My parents, at least to me, expressed the thought that perhaps it was just the one and that would be it. Uh huh. Anyhow, two mornings later, I was innocently making french toast when a mouse ran across the kitchen, practically under my feet. (Shudder) Anyway, a chase ensued. The house is in complete uproar as my mother woke my father up to force him to deal with the mouse and at one point it was cornered behind a bookcase in the living room. Now for me, at this point breakfast is over. There is no way I could have eaten breakfast in the same kitchen after seeing a mouse practically run across my foot. I was also very upset with my parents in the vein of this is why we should have a cat. (My family's love/hate relationship with cats will have to be dealt with in a future post. Needless to say I fall on the love side of the line.) Moving on, I went to school. I return home that afternoon to find the super of the building searching the walls for an entry point. I inform them that it came out from under the stove. After a short time, he pulls out the stove. OMG. Behind the stove were, in addition to mouse droppings, a ginormous hole approximately 18-24 inches across. Here is where all the mice were coming in. Believe you me, there is no way only one mouse made that hole. (Small break while calming convulsions) Anyway, the super closed up the hole with steel wool, a great deal of Spackle and our family welcomed Winkie into the home.

So this story is why when my husband said he "might" have seen a mouse, I made him pull out the fridge and stove from the walls to check for droppings and openings. Nothing. Phew. So now I can sleep at nights.

American Idol

2010-03-03T16:50:00.006-05:00

Today's roundtable discussion is on American Idol. Here's my two cents.

What is the point of having four judges if they are all going to agree? My favorite moments on American Idol were when Randy is really feeling a contestant and then Simon tells him to watch it back on tape cause it was horrible. Or when someone really sucked lemons and then Paula was like, I love your dress. Doesn't she look wonderful? And especially when Randy said he doesn't get it and Simon blows everyone away by liking it. I think they have all been working together too long because lately it is just an echo chamber as all four judges say essentially the same thing over and over and over again. Boooooooring!

Now for my contestant picks. My favorite guys are Michael Lynche and ....Todderick Hall. He is totally getting robbed by the judges. Year after year they tell contestants to make the songs their own and when he does, they rip him a new hole. I liked his version of Since You Been Gone and loved loved loved his What's Love Got To Do With It. They keep telling him he's changing the songs around too much. Really, are you gonna tell me that Adam Lambert didn't play around with songs a lot more? Get real. Now of the girls, I thought they really sucked big time last week but this week I liked Paige Miles, Siobhan Magnus (you always gotta R-E-S-P-E-C-T someone who takes on Aretha and succeeds) and... Katie Stevens. She is another one totally getting a raw deal. She sings the song really well and they keep telling her to sing younger songs. I think it is ridiculous. No one told Siobhan she couldn't sing Aretha because she wasn't over 50, did they? And Crystal and Lilly have yet to sing a song from this decade, but nobody tells them anything, do they? I think if they are going to rag on younger singers so much for not singing teenybopper songs they shouldn't let them in the competition. I certainly don't want to hear teenybopper songs anyway. Anyway that's what I think this week. I reserve the right to dump any of these singers at any time if they start to stink up the place and someone else gets good.

Now Ryan, why are you trying to stir up pretend controversy? The first time with Ellen was funny, after that, not so much. Nobody believes you and I just want to hear the singers anyway. I'd rather watch Siobhan's lip exercises than speculate on Simon's love life. (Insert gagging here.)

So that's what I think. Put your two cents (or four, nobody's counting) in the comments. Visit here for OPV (other people's viewpoints) or don't (mine are better anyway.) LOL

What the Hell Wednesday

2010-03-03T09:15:00.005-05:00

It is time for me to get my complaining on with the Blue Monkey Butt Sisters. Feel free to join in or just laugh at all the rest of us and our problems.

What the Hell is with my boys lately? This past week at bedtime, they have decided that to creep down the hall and peek at me in my room or through the banisters down the stairs is a cool game. First, I was "Get back in bed!" every time they did it. After the first fifty times or so, that got tired. So my new strategy was to ignore them, figuring that they would get bored and go back to bed. Except the six year old decided that since I wasn't responding that he should yell "Mom, the four year old is out of bed!" every. single. time. WTH? Don't ask me why they aren't tired. I am.

My husband informed me the other morning that he might have seen a mouse. WTH? What does he mean might? We have been living here over two years without any rodent infestation, thank you very much. The worst I have seen is some ants and a couple of spiders. I can live with that. I do not live with mice. EVER. Anyway, the hubby explained that he thought he saw something out the corner of his eye which he interpreted to be a mouse. WTH? So he spent the evening sealing everything in bags and covering everything with towels, just in case. It had better only be his old eyes failing on him and not a mouse because if I see one he might be living with a cat when he gets home. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

Random Tuesday Questions

2010-03-02T12:36:00.002-05:00

*Why is it that the sun comes out and people think that it is warm enough for shorts? It is only 46 degrees and I saw two people. in shorts. It's not that warm people!

*Why did I not know about the Starburst FaveReds pack before now? An entire pack of nothing but red flavors. No more trying to foist off the oranges on someone else!

*Why did I think I would be able to watch the first season of Dexter if I rented it? I borrowed it and discovered that I do not have 12 free hours with which to watch without the six year old and four year old around. So back it goes and I only saw three episodes. Fail!

*Why isn't Women's History commemorated with a day off? Or better yet, a week? I mean haven't we worked hard enough?

*Why do people ask you questions and then walk away before you answer them? This morning my husband says to me, why were you tossing and turning so much last night? And then leaves the room! Thanks for asking!

Linking up with the Bitchin' Wives Club for more Random Tuesday Thoughts.

My Sisters

2010-03-01T13:17:00.005-05:00

So I have seven sisters. Anyhow two of them have been just dying to get in a blog post. Apparently, since MTV turned them down for Jersey Shore (neither of them being cheap or Italian) and Patti doesn't scout in Jersey to match her millionaires, you are their last chance at fifteen minutes of fame.

Pamela is ten years younger than me. (The only reason I know this is I count down the age gaps between family members until I get to her.) Since she is so much younger than me I spent a good part of my childhood taking care of my little sister. Her first word was my name instead of mama or dada. I have combed her hair, fed her, clothed her, bandaged her boo-boos and otherwise took care of her until I entered my selfish phase and went to college. Today, Pamela is one of my kids' favorite baby sitters since she is not above acting like a six year old. A couple of weeks ago she helped me out taking the boys to the Science museum which had a dinosaur exhibit complete with a live reptile show. (Of course we all agreed that the one we had at the six year old's birthday party was better. They did not have an alligator and their boa constrictor was lame compared to our snake.) Anyway, the day ended in the souvenir shop where I refused to part with a dime on their overpriced merchandise. Of course being the indulgent auntie that she is, she went ahead and bought the six year old a glow-in-the-dark solar system which he claims to have wanted all his life. The four year old went away with a stuffed green bear which he gave the incredibly creative name of Beary.

Paloma is something like fourteen years younger than me. (BTW, I think this makes her eleven since there is no way that I am older than twenty five.) I probably remember Paloma's delivery the best since it was one of my mom's only c-sections. Her umbilical cord was apparently wrapped around her neck. Although I also remember the time my mom told my dad she was going into labor and he asked if he could finish watching his tv show first. I think this was for Pamela but I couldn't swear to it. I guess after the first five or so the urgency was gone. Anyway, Paloma is one of my only little sisters who is still littler than me. Apparently all the tall genes skipped me and her. Anyway, like Paloma we didn't have much in common with each other growing up since I was doing the cooking and she was doing the eating. Now, however, she is in college and is also the keeper of Rock Band game. So when we all have a day off, we hang out in her apartment and annoy the other college kids with our good time. (Yes, we are adults who love to sing and play fake instruments. What of it? Pat Benatar would totally recruit us if she heard our rendition of Love is a Battlefield. Well...she would if she were tone deaf and loved us very much.)

So thank you both for being there and entertaining the boys when I no longer have the energy. Also, I am having a baby towards the end of June so I'll need you to get back to me with your schedules because I plan to be exhausted. :)

Tiger, Tiger Woods, y'all

2010-02-25T14:22:00.003-05:00

I was over at the Princess of Sarcasm and discovered a heated discussion on Tiger Woods and his total lack of moral fiber. Now always one to have two cents to throw in (or fifty two) I decided to link up.
Now if you didn't watch the press conference, feel free to head here and do so...or not. I mean if you've seen one cheating bastard apologize, pretty much you've seen them all. Pretty much he apologizes for being a selfish, irresponsible prick who used and abused his wealth, fame and position. Personally, I could have cared less. Really does anybody care if he was really sorry or not? In my opinion, once a cheater, always a cheater. Either you are a person who takes his marital vows seriously (i.e. means what he says) or you are a liar and a cheater. Not only that I am sick to death of this "everybody makes mistakes" attitude. If it is okay with you to live with someone knowing that they may or may not be faithful to you than fine. You live with that kind of uncertainty(and possibility of disease) in your life. I believe in fidelity. If it were me, I'd have kicked his lying, cheating ass to the curb from the start. (Now Elin, if you have plans to take all his money and then leave him, I'm okay with that too.)
As for his golfing career, as long as he continues to hit the little ball into the hole (something he apparently knows quite a bit about), there will always be someone willing to sponsor him. (Trojans, Tiger is waiting for your call.) Likewise, I don't expect all those companies which dropped him like a hot potato since the story broke to rush back anytime soon.
I say let Tiger worry about Tiger's future so the rest of us can get back to real life.
Now if you're on Facebook you could join the page "Tiger Woods isn't a tiger, he's a cheetah!" or "I support Tiger Woods and his pimping ways." Think about it.

What the Hell, Again?!?!

2010-02-24T08:31:00.003-05:00

Apparently while I wasn't looking, someone picked up my little town in NJ and moved it to Bumblefuck or Hicksville, somewhere in the boonies anyway. I say this because THE DAMN POWER WENT OUT IN MY HOUSE AGAIN!! Now much as I love the Third World, I do not want to live there. I pay an astronomical amount of money to PSE&G because I expect the lights to go on when I want them to. Also, when I am in the middle of preparing dinner is a damn inconvenient time for the power to go out. Now because I am not a fan of burning myself or the food, I was unable to comply with my husband's desire to cook by flashlight. What the Hell, right? I sent his lazy ass for Chinese food. Lucky for PSE&G the power came on BEFORE American Idol otherwise they would be dealing with a seriously pissed pregnant lady.

Now why the hell didn't I become a weather forecaster? I swear they get up there and guess completely while in reality having no friggin clue. Yesterday, the forecast was a mix of snow and rain every damn day this week. Today it has become some rain then clearing in preparation for a monster nor'easter. So yesterday it was going to be too warm for snow and today it is going to be cold enough for a buttload of snow. Riiiiiight. See I think this is really a diabolical plot designed to get me excited about the possibility of a snow day on Friday which will come with rain to crush my dreams on Friday. (I can't help it if I have lame dreams about not having to get dressed and drive kids around all day.)

Well those are my complaints for the week. Check out the Blue Monkey

Butt sisters for more.

Random Tuesday

2010-02-23T12:51:00.004-05:00

Today is my oldest sister's birthday. By that I don't mean older than me but just older than all my other younger sisters. Someone mentioned something about going to IHOP for our free pancakes but I guess that isn't going to happen. She just came back from a weekend in Miami which featured an evening of clubbing followed by time at the gun range. Is that awesome or what? She is a fan of the following Facebook pages: I don't care about your fish, or your farm, or your park or or your mafia!!!! and Oh Home Alone? Hello Loud Music.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

That's my advice for her today. That and not to tell anyone your age because then they might get funny ideas about mine.

It is raining cats and dogs out there today. I do not like this because if it was only five degrees colder, it would be snowing and I would have a snow day. (AKA safe, warm and dry in my house.)

Registration has started for Spring Soccer. It is kind of hard for me to get enthused about the upcoming season when it is raining, 37 degrees out and there is still snow on the ground.

Do you think it is strange to buy a bathing suit that I can't wear until after the baby is born? Too bad. I'm getting one anyway.

Catch-up

2010-02-22T12:54:00.003-05:00

My husband used to be a great person. He was hard working. Even on the weekends, he was not one to veg out on the couch. He likes to keep busy, washing my car, painting walls, generally doing stuff most of the day. Then he discovered facebook. Since then, all his spare time has been spent in front of the computer thinking of witty comebacks and status remarks. When he can't think of his own, he feels no shame about trolling the internet to steal someone else's. Here was his witty remark for the day. Our Munson who are in heaven, hallowed be his name. Thy World Series #28 be won in the Bronx, in 2010. Give us this day, our daily win and forgive us our hatred of the opposing team. As we forgive those who oppose us and lead us not into Flushing, but deliver us from Boston. The power and glory of the MLB. Boston Sucks!! Amen. Anyway I am sorry for being absent this week. Blame Facebook. I do.

Last week I read a few interesting books. I read Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah. It was a saga spanning more than thirty years in the life of two best friends. It made me cry which was awesome. I read Life Skills by Katie Fforde which was funny and entertaining but contained way too much detail about canals and their locks for my taste. I tended to skip whole paragraphs because it would go into some detail about maneuvering the boat on the canal. Snore fest. I read Smart vs Pretty by Valerie Frankel which was completely forgettable and not nearly as interesting as the back blurb. I read Dexter by Design by Jeffrey Lindsay. This was quite amusing. It intrigued me enough to want to see how it translated into the Showtime series. The most interesting parts for me was how he considers himself a carrier for his Dark Passenger and that Dexter is a complete fabricated persona as a cover for his little hobby. I don't know how they would communicate this on TV. If you haven't read his books or watched the show you probably have no clue what I am talking about. I also read A Wanted Man by Linda Lael Miller which was a historical romance set in the American west. Completely predictable which is why I read them. I can't stand when I go to pick up a nice light romance and it has a twisted ending. Sometimes a girl just needs a happy ending. I would normally put these in my sidebar but since I already finished them, it seems kind of pointless. I have every intention of going on Wednesday to the library and getting a whole new set.

I am still concerned about the six year old. I was informed on Friday that on Monday (next week not today) they will be having Terra Nova testing. I have no idea what this consists of nor do I know how to prepare him for it. The advice sent by his teacher consisted of getting a good night sleep, eating breakfast and bringing number two pencils. I am most concerned about his spelling. On his last dictation assignment in school, he got twenty three wrong. 23. I make him sit down and read aloud. (Right now we are reading The Magic Tree House Series.) He flies through them with very little assistance from me but his spelling remains horrific. His errors are all over the place. He leaves vowels out of words like strem instead of stream. He adds silent e's where they are not needed and leaves them off when they are. He'll leave the w off of write and wrote. He spells cute with a q. It is just a little frustrating to me not to be able to constructively help him.

Well this is becoming a really long post so to be continued....

On Being Driven Insane

2010-02-12T16:40:00.003-05:00

My husband just lost his job. Well he works for himself so it really isn't like he's going on unemployment or anything. Let me start at the beginning. My husband is a painting contractor. When I first met him, his work was really busy in the summer but petered out during the winter. He would spend at least a couple of days every week at home because of the lack of work. As the years went by he got busier so at one point he was working seven days a week to stay ahead. A couple of years ago he landed a really big job which has enabled him to work only five days a week. Unfortunately now that the job is finished, he is home everyday until he books a new one. Here is how that has gone:

Day 1: Spend entire day on facebook.
Day 2: Accomplish one item on the "honey do" list while taking breaks every twenty minutes to get on facebook.
Day 3: Follow me around as I drop off kids, go to bank, do food shopping, pick up kids, go to Staples etc. etc. all the while updating Facebook via his Blackberry. Also, spend various intervals complaining about how he hates to be home.
I estimate he has less than a week to get a job before we drives us/me insane and forces us/me to kill him.

Food Network

2010-02-11T15:51:00.000-05:00

So I believe that this channel is designed to make me either a) crazy or B) broke. Practically everything I watch gives me cravings. (It may possibly have something to do with the fact that I'm pregnant.) Anyway it really doesn't matter what show is on. Some of the most unlikely shows can inspire a craving. I was watching an episode of Worst Cooks in America and you would think that watching these hopeless chefs would turn me off to their food. You would be wrong. They had to each toast bread and make a custom topping. I mean some of them were mixing weird ingredients, dropping stuff on the floor and I was thinking bruschetta. MMmm. I was watching Dinner Impossible and Michael Simon was making a menu at a zoo. If you didn't see this episode, they wanted him to make a all meat menu for the big cats, a menu for the birds, one for the reptiles etc. etc. So he made a cricket filled lemon ice, for the reptiles. Yes, I was thinking oooh I haven't had a lemon ice in ages. Don't get me started on Guy Fieri. That man can make Polish food look good. If you have never seen his show Triple D, (Diners, Drive-In's and Dives) you do not know what you are missing. In the last month he has had me out searching for everything from a Reuban sandwich, Puerto Rican mofongo, Mexican (and that doesn't take much), pizza, Cuban sandwiches, chicken pot pie and cheese steak. Okay now I am really hungry again. So I could try to ignore the cravings..(yeah I don't think that's going to happen) or spend my days searching out my latest craving. Right now I'm celebrating Chinese New Year with some egg rolls.

A Pain in My Side

2010-02-08T13:39:00.002-05:00

So if you have never been pregnant, let me inform you that getting to sleep is sometimes a problem. See, you suddenly have this moving tumor protruding from your stomach which grew practically overnight. Now if you sleep on your back you feel like you have a bowling ball on top of you and you can't breathe. Obviously you can no longer sleep on your stomach because of the moving tumor. So you are left sleeping on your left or your right side. According to pediatric sleep experts, the best side is your left because of blood flow, nutrients, blah, blah blah. So now we get to the real problem. Now I don't know why but the baby is objecting strenuously to my sleeping on the left. So much so that even during the day, I can't say lean on my left side on the sofa. I feel like I have bruises there. Now since I can't take any real medicine being pregnant and all and not wanting to drug up the baby, I have been using my sister Alicia's fool proof pain reliever. She is a proponent of showers. That's right, have a headache? Take a shower. Having trouble at that time of the month? Take a shower. Can't breathe and are dying from your sinus allergies? That's right, take a shower. Now believe it or not, so far this has worked for me so I'm not trying to mess with a good thing. Unfortunately, my moisturizer has not been able to keep up with my new cleaning regimen but a little dry skin is a small price to pay for a pain free existence, wouldn't you say?

F Bomb Friday

2010-02-05T10:12:00.005-05:00

Created by Mimi, after you read mine, go check out hers.

This is my first F Bomb Friday. Luckily it coincided with the perfect thing to discuss. The Effing power went out again! See I was peacefully sleeping in my bed when I'm awakened at four in the morning by a really annoying beep. beep.. beep.. beep.. So I get out of bed to find out which freakin smoke detector is going off so I can throw it out the window. I try to turn on the lights and nothing. I click it again, nothing. Damnit. That's when I notice why it is completely pitch black in my house which usually has the standby lights on from the computer, tv, DVD, oven, microwave..... Basically everything in my house has a light that stays on even when it is off because I don't bother to go around unplugging every damn thing. Anyway, the annoying beep was the stupid surge protector for the computer which starts beeping when it no longer has a full charge. So I unplug the stupid thing and go back to bed. Twenty minutes later, beep.. beep.. beep... beep.. This time I kicked hubby out of bed to go downstairs and figure out what the hell is going off. It was the carbon monoxide detector which I guess now needs a new battery. (Great! another thing for me to do today.) So he returns to bed and starts counting down since he gets up at five, I guess he figured that going back to sleep at four thirty wasn't worth it, so keeping me from sleeping was a good idea. #$%&! So he gets up just before the alarm would have gone off. He gets me the flashlight so when it is time to get up, the kids can use the bathroom and see to get dressed. Then he tells me, "You guys are going to freeze." Huh? Apparently our lovely central air/heat doesn't work without electricity and since the power went out in the middle of the night, the temperature of the house had been steadily dropping. #$%&! Then about a half an hour later, (just in case I had fallen asleep by mistake) he texts me to tell me they said on the radio that the power was all out in the area because some idiot drove himself head first into a telephone pole and the pole came down and shut down a transformer. Of course minutes later, I hear the news helicopters circling directly over my house. FYI, they are not quiet. The lights went on just before I would have gotten up.

Facebook fan page of the day: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.

Warning: Gross Subject Ahead

2010-02-04T12:49:00.003-05:00

So have you ever been near someone who is throwing up and felt your own gag reflex go off? Yeah that was my morning. Baby girl decided to object to Mommy's scrambled egg breakfast by making me throw up. I made it to the bathroom but not quite to the toilet. Lovely right? So the six year old being oblivious follows me into my bathroom and promptly has that gagging moment I told you about earlier. This of course brings up the inside of my stomach and whatever was left. I then hear the six year old throwing up. He doesn't even make it to the bathroom. I give him a towel to cover the mess while I clean up my own disgusting mess. Meanwhile, the four year old, not wanting to be left out forces gagging noises out and basically spits on the toilet. Not in the toilet mind you, on the lid.

So the six year old was late for school since I had to change everyone in the house, brush teeth again, clean the floors, start a load of nasty vomit towels etc. etc. Good Times...

What the Hell Anonymous?

2010-02-03T11:04:00.005-05:00

So that Anonymous weirdo has been very busy leaving cryptic comments on my blog. Now this comment Anonymous said... asked for information about solar panels. Assuming I was a person who knew about that (which I'm not) don't you think you should email me the question or leave information so someone could get back to you with your answer?
I am the kind of hombre who passions to seek recent things. Right now I'm building my personal pv panels. I am doing it all alone without the aid of my men. I'm utilizing the net as the only way to acheive that. I came across a truly amazing website which explains how to create solar panels and wind generators. The place explains all the steps needed for solar panel construction.I am not sure about how accurate the info given there is. If some guys over here who had xp with these works can have a peak and give your feedback in the page it will be awesome and I would highly value it, because I truly would love to try solar panel construction.Tnx for reading this. You guys are the best.
WTH? No one is gonna get back to you even though I know we are the best. Sorry weirdo.
Then yesterday Anonymous leaves this as a comment.
愛情不是慈善事業，不能隨便施捨。.........................
Because I'm anal like that I rush over to google translate because I need to know if I'm being insulted in Chinese or what. Here's the translation:
Love is not a charity should not be arbitrarily charity.
WTH? Yeah that had nothing to do with my blog post, moron. Bad enough you leave spam on my blog but now you are doing it in foreign languages?
I would love to know the person who gets these comments and is like, yeah cool, thanks Anonymous. I guess it is the same person who is grateful for the email offering penile implants.

Go on over to the Blue Monkey Butt Sisters for more What the Hell Wednesday.

Random Thought Tuesday, Groundhog Day, Bowling, PJ's

2010-02-02T11:03:00.007-05:00

My sister in law's birthday is today. She wants to have a bowling party because apparently she forgot that she is not 12. At any rate, the kids and I were pretty excited since she picked an alley close to our house and one to which I have free games coming to me. (My son was in a league and got a bunch of free games at the end.) Of course yesterday, she decided for some inexplicable reason that an alley in New Bruswick that charges 12.50 a game would be better. Is she out of her mind? Since when is 12.50 an appropriate price for game of bowling? I wouldn't mind so much for the adults (yes I would, who am I kidding?) but the four year old and the six year old bowl at a snail's pace, not exciting and not worth $12.50.

Anyway, the groundhog saw his shadow today, so six more weeks of winter. I think I may be the only one pleased about this. Generally I like winter and summer a lot better than the milder seasons. I think this may say something about my personality.

My son went to school today in his pajamas, on purpose. Today is pajama day at the school. Normally, we don't have fights and arguments about what to wear since he wears a uniform everyday. Today though was prolonged discussions on what he was going to wear under the pajama since it was 20 degrees outside and while the pajama is appropriate for bundling up under blankets and comforter, not so much for school. The six year old also spent much of the morning asking me "Are you sure today is pajama day?" He lives in fear of wearing the wrong thing. I offered to let him wear his uniform as usual and his response was "But you're sure today is pajama day, right?"

Check out the Unmom for other people's random thoughts.

January Blahs

2010-01-29T09:50:00.002-05:00

I don't know if it is the January Blahs or if I'm just feeling depressed and in the dumps but I have been so unmotivated lately. I take the kids to school in the morning and it is all I can do to stay out of bed. This has resulted in the loss of a window shade that the four year old decided to cut apart while I wasn't looking but no other noticeable damage. I am so unmotivated that I haven't managed to get to the library to get new books and that is saying something. Well I am going to see my sisters later this evening and hopefully they can help me kick my butt into gear so that I can live up to this blog.

Funny Things on Facebook

2010-01-26T16:34:00.002-05:00

The names have been changed in this post to protect the not so innocent.

So I have a cousin who we'll call Shelly and basically her hobby is to become a fan of pretty much anything. So if I am ever bored or trying very hard to ignore the laundry I check out her page for amusement. Here are just some of the pages she has become a fan of lately. (and when I say lately, I mean today)
*For those who have experienced the pain of stepping on a lego
*I hate the one little thing that just ruins your whole day
*tripping in public and walking it off pretending like it didn't happen
*Laughing in a serious situation & trying to cover it up with a coughing fit
*I've ran into a wall at least once in my life
*I've always wanted to spin round in a chair & say "I've been expecting you."
*If you've ever pushed a door that said pull
*The problem with life is there is no background music.
*I really don't care how many calories it has, I'm hungry.
*I eat food while I'm waiting for my food to cook.
*Screaming at characters in movies to do something.
*When I was younger, I put my face close to the fan to hear my robot voice.
*Getting angry at an object because you tripped on it
*Remember when Math was actually numbers?
*My bed is more comfy in the morning than it is at night.
*My lips are chapped only when I can't find my chapstick
*Stealing 3D glasses from the movies
*Wipe off some of your three inches of makeup, it's not cute.
*If I didn't answer the phone the 1st time, or the 8th time, stop calling!
*Saying hello to random strangers
*Feeling like if you turn on all the lights, you will be safe from anything
*Walking the wrong way on escalators
*why can't my shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time?
*throwing something away and finding out that you need it months later.
*P.E. teachers shouldn't be fat
*I need more sleep
*Putting on warm clothes straight from the dryer

Okay that's all that I can bear to type for now. Anyhow that last one sounded strangely like a hint to get back to the laundry. I would join almost all of these but I am incredibly lazy.

A Conversation in Ruby Tuesdays

2010-01-25T12:17:00.002-05:00

Well yesterday when the power went out, we went to Ruby Tuesdays so we could A. watch the end of the football game, B. Get something to eat without maiming myself by cooking in the dark and C. go to the bathroom (since I couldn't find a flashlight, my bathrooms have no windows and are therefore completely dark without electricity and the kids are scared of the dark. ) Anyway, while there we ran into my cousin Tony. He apparently hangs out at Ruby Tuesdays to study since they let him eat all day from the salad bar. (He's in dental school) Anyway here is how the conversation went between him and the six year old.

T: How much is 100 plus 100?
6 year old: 200
T: How much is 200 plus 300?
6 year old: 5...hundred?
T: Yeah. Okay, if you know this one, I'm going to give you a crisp dollar bill. How much is 500 plus 500?
6 year old: 500 and 2
T: No! okay how about you spell something for the dollar?
6 year old: How about mom?
T: No that's too easy.
6 year old: How about dad?
T: No.
6 year old:How about Subway?
T: No because if you're telling me the word, that means you already know how to spell it.
6 year old: How about NFL?
T: How about NO?
6 year old: Okay N-O.
T: Hey, you tricked me!
Laughter and Giggles all around

And that's how the six year old tricked my cousin out of a dollar.

It Sucks When the Power Goes Out

2010-01-24T20:40:00.000-05:00

It sucks when the power goes out. It sucks worse when you are in the middle of an AFC championship game. It sucks when the power goes out, you're watching the football game and you have guests over. It sucks when the power goes out and you haven't the foggiest clue where the flashlight is. It sucks when the power goes out and it's after dark and the six year old is afraid of the dark and refuses to use the bathroom. It sucks when the power goes out, you come home after dinner where you went to watch the game and use the bathroom and the power is still out so you have to give baths by candlelight. Well it was an experience anyway. Never take electricity for granted.

What's For Dinner

2010-01-20T13:31:00.002-05:00

So yesterday the hubby and I get into a loud argument in which he complains that he doesn't like what we are having for dinner and wants me to never make it again. So I get ticked off. I tell him that it isn't fair that I can't eat things I like just because he is too much of a baby to eat it himself. So far his list of things he doesn't want to eat for dinner are chili, roast beef, tacos, beef stir fry, meatloaf, chicken pot pie and baked ziti.
I get sick of eating the same thing all the time and like to mix in other things even if they aren't his "favorites" and he isn't a child that I should have to cater every meal around him. What do you think? Am I totally off base here or should he suck it up and eat what I want occasionally?

Ice Skating

2010-01-18T21:49:00.004-05:00

So the last couple of weekends, we have been attempting ice skating. Allow me to mention here that the husband has claimed to be afraid to come with us fearing a broken leg which would render him unable to work and of the boys getting concussions resulting in large hospital bills. I only believe half of this statement, I'll leave you to guess which half. Anyway the boys were all for this, sports loving, never stop moving children that I have. So off we went. Now I think the six year old envisioned his first day of skating would

go something like this...

In reality it was a little more like this...

My sons were not daunted and tried again this weekend. I was able to bring reinforcements this weekend and by reinforcements I mean three of my sisters. This was so we could divide the help among the two boys and also in the hope that they would be of more help to the boys since my main response to them falling was letting go of their hand and letting them fall. (Hey pregnant ladies don't have the greatest balance and I was afraid they would pull me down with them!) Anyway, it was still slow going especially since my boys have stubborn, independent little souls (especially the six year old) and generally resisted well meaning advice and helping hands. They live by the mantra of they can do it themselves which works well on solid ground and not so well on ice. At any rate no one was traumatized, no bones were broken and we will probably live to skate again. :)

Ultrasound

2010-01-14T13:00:00.003-05:00

So I went to the Doctor for an ultrasound today. According to the size of the baby, they set my new due date as June 27. They also said that it's a girl! Everyone (My husband and extended family) are pretty excited since it will be my first girl. The six year old however does not think it will be so good since now there will be pink stuff in the room. Anyway, the ultrasound also revealed that I have placenta previa. They said not to worry since it might fix itself over time but not to lift anything heavy since I will be prone to bleeding until it does. I didn't have this problem with either of my previous pregnancies so telling me that is of no use. I've also decided that "heavy" is relative and therefore I shouldn't lift anything heavy, like say the broom, the dishes, the laundry, you know for the baby. I don't want to be accused of accidently disobeying Doctor's orders...

What the Hell Wednesday - Facebook

2010-01-13T01:34:00.001-05:00

What the hell is wrong with my computer?!? It is driving me up the wall. It is totally my husband's fault since he has been hogging the computer in the evenings making ridiculous comments and taking pictures to post of everything from the newspaper and tv and his pants on the ground. Where was I? Oh yeah, since he has been using the computer so much I have been reduced to trying to post everything during the day between taking the kids to school, doing my housework, picking the kids up and the hundreds of other errands I have to do. This has made for the sharp decline in my posting level. I got the man a Blackberry for Christmas, you think he would restrict himself to that but no, he has started to use the two of them simultaneously. Very Annoying. Anyway I wrote a post for this and tried to schedule it but for some reason I can't get my posts to post on schedule, so you just have to read it today.

What the hell is with schools giving my son homework projects where I have to do more than he does? The four year old's school is studying different countries of the world and decided to start with the different countries the kids come from. So he has to find, bring in something to represent his culture. So I suggest the flag and they say, that's great but maybe you could make something for the kids to eat at snack? Notice how they phrase it as a question as they demand I get up even earlier in the morning and cook for them. Anyway, so I agree to make tostones which are fried plantains figuring that would be pretty quick as you basically only have to slice them up and fry them. They say, that would be great, can you type up the recipe so they can display it. Wonderful. Any more work you want to give me? I would like to know what the four year old is now contributing towards this project. (Crickets)

The Littlest Angel

2010-01-08T16:17:00.002-05:00

So did you think Christmas was over? Ha! That's what you thought. Today the four year old's school did their Christmas pagent. My son was the Littlest Angel. He made a great littlest angel since he hardly ever stood still, jumped up and down and waved to me when he saw me in the crowd and kept moving around his halo. He also refused to stand still for pictures, so this is the best that I've got. However he very enthusuastically rang the bell to announce the birth of Jesus.

The Story of The Six Year Old and Mr Hyde

2010-01-07T12:40:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time there was a six year old who didn't get enough sleep. He went to school on Monday came home cranky, took a nap in the afternoon and stayed up too late. He went to school on Tuesday, came home, took a nap in the afternoon and claimed not to be tired at 10:00pm. He went to school on Wednesday, came home did his homework and became Mr. Hyde right around dinnertime. I was preparing dinner and he was have a screaming, yelling, jumping up and down, throw himself on the floor, terrible two tantrum because I wasn't doing a craft with him. (I probably wouldn't have done the craft anyway since I hate crafts but this time I had a legitimate excuse as I was COOKING DINNER!) Anyway, the hubby walks in on this rampage and informs the six year old that since our children don't behave like screaming gorillas (his words not mine) he must have been switched at birth. He proceeded to pretend call the hospital to tell them they made a terrible mistake. The six year old was not amused. At dinner, I informed Mr. Hyde that since he was misbehaving and telling us how he hates us and wishes he could make us disappear among other lovely thoughts which crossed his mind, he was no longer allowed to play his Nintendo DS for the rest of the week. Mr Hyde was never seen again.

Back to the Grind

2010-01-04T21:29:00.003-05:00

So today was the first day back at school for the six year old. The four year old still has a couple of days. Oh the joy of rousing children out of bed at 6 am when they don't want to get up! So I finally get everyone out of the house and into the artic wind that was this morning. (19 degrees, enough said) The four year old and I took a nice long nap this morning so we were refreshed when it was time to pick up the six year old. He, however, was a cranky whiney mess. I tried to get him to sit down and do homework but he wasn't having any part of it. Finally he storms upstairs and says, I'm going to my room! I give him a few minutes to cool off and then follow him up there to find him fast asleep on his bed. He was also not happy when I woke him up an hour later for dinner. He was still cranky and I'm sure he was hungry. After dinner and a bath we attempted the homework again. It still took the threat of no dessert to get him started. Now he is supposed to be in bed blissfully catching up on all that sleep but instead I hear him tossing turning and walking around the room. I have a sneaking suspicion that I am going to find him in bed playing his brand new Nintendo DS Santa gave him. I knew that thing was going to be trouble.

New Year's and Non-Resolutions

2010-01-03T14:58:00.004-05:00

So what is it about the beginning of the year that makes people feel they have to change everything? What if I had a fantastic 2009 and don't want to change a thing? So instead of making resolutions, I am making a list of things I am not changing.

My diet. I am pregnant and under doctor's orders to gain 25-30 pounds over the next five and a half months. So that means, I am pretty much going to eat whatever I please and can manage not to barf up afterwards.

My habits. Some might think it is a bad habit to spend a good chunk of the day while the husband is at work and the kids are at school on the blog but I consider it time well spend and have no intention of breaking the habit. I am also going to continue reading every book I get my hands on.

My love life. Yeah it is pretty good the way it is.
My job. For the most part being a stay at home is the best job. Other than my husband whom I'd have to deal with anyway, I've got no boss breathing down my neck telling me what to do and when to do it. I also don't have to deal with snarky comments from said boss when my kids are sick and I need to take a day. Also, I don't have to get dressed up if I don't want and I can wear whatever color or style I like. (I personally haven't had to deal with it, but I have heard about coworkers and bosses making comments about the height of necklines and hemlines and dress codes etc. etc. )

Anyway, I hope you start your New Year with at least a couple of things you have no intention of changing instead of resolving to change your whole life.

A Momentous Occasion

2009-12-27T21:26:00.002-05:00

My baby lost his first tooth yesterday. It has been loose for a couple of weeks but being a wuss and also male he has been babying it and eating on the side. So yesterday it came out while he was drinking water. I know, strange but true. Anyway, the six year old was very excited because he was expecting a shiny new quarter. Imagine his delight when instead he received a dollar. See that's the key to true happiness, low expectations. HaHaHaHAa.

Vacation

2009-12-23T10:21:00.003-05:00

The boys are officially on vacation as of today, which mean I am totally at their beck and call for the next two weeks. Wish me luck. Anywho...if my posts are few and far between, don't worry I'll be back. After the crazy last minute Christmas shopping because Santa has totally been a lazy bum and gotten next to nothing for the boys yet. I did buy one item which I found on sale early but was totally found out by the six year old who was snooping in my room so it has become a gift from Mom and Dad and now Santa has to start all over. Also I have quite a few holiday parties to attend cause I'm a popular girl like that.

SNOW

2009-12-21T16:11:00.005-05:00

So Saturday it started snowing. Now, here in Jersey we don't shut everything down for a little snow as apparently DC does. (AT least that is what Amanda reported on MODG) However we got a significant amount of snow to please two young boys.

As I do not have a creative bone in my body, I kept my butt inside and left the snowman building/getting wet and cold to the hubby.

I don't know if you noticed the snowman holding the beach shovels but the boys assured me that Frosty is headed to the snow beach so he needed them.

He Shall Henceforth Be the Four Year Old

2009-12-17T09:44:00.011-05:00

So Saturday was the big blowout party for the four year old. Have you ever thrown a party and no-one came? Well that was my 6th birthday party. Oh we weren't talking about me? Sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyway, we started with an RSVP list of 29 adults and eleven kids. Then the excuses started flying. They probably weren't all excuses, but still. One of my sisters-in-law was sick herself so couldn't come with her family, one sister-in-law said her two daughters were sick so she couldn't come, a cousin called cause her two sons were sick and my brother just didn't show up and later informed me his daughter was sick. (They were at an emergency clinic which is why they couldn't call.) At any rate, one hour into the party I had three kids and five adults. Now my son wasn't fazed by this but I was just a little bit upset.

This is them completely unfazed as they are bouncing in the bouncy house and ball pits.

Eventually, another child and three of my sisters showed up in time for the food. This is also called over an hour late. (That was especially for them, in case they're reading this.)

After eating was the traditional busting of the pinata which three year olds are no good at. I eventually just pulled the strings and let them go crazy.

Then we did the cake. This was nearly ruined as a guest blew the candles out before my son could get to them but we lit them again and let him have another go.

Now after all that and the four year old's friends went home, three more sisters and a brother showed up to extend my party which was supposed to be 1-3pm until six o'clock. Don't worry I paid them back and used them as cheap manual labor during the clean-up.

Sick

2009-12-14T13:34:00.003-05:00

I was going to post about the fabulous birthday party which was had by the three year old on Saturday but that will have to wait another day. My sons are both sick. Now my sons, when they get sick don't just get a sniffle like normal children. NO. They get huge swellings under their ears which was diagnosed by the salivary gland specialist at Columbia Presbyterian in NYC as recurrent juvenile parotitis. When the six year old was two and getting this every other month, I was concerned and sought out specialists and two MRI's, a cat scan, three specialists, several hundreds of dollars later I find out he has something for which there is no known cause or cure. Isn't that fabulous? Anyhow, their faces swell up like chipmunks (their pediatrician thought it looked like mumps the first time she saw it.), they develop fevers of approx 101 and since their faces hurt, they don't want to eat or be touched. Of course, I have discovered that it also coincidentally also occurs when they are having other illness like a cold or allergy attack so their are usually other symptoms to deal with as well. So tons of fun to be had here until everyone gets better.

Sorry, I Have an Excuse...Or Three

2009-12-11T09:50:00.008-05:00

So sorry about not posting or commenting and otherwise generally ignoring the blogging world lately. Here is my list of excuses:

The husband has been obsessed with posting old pictures on facebook. When I say old, these pictures are over two decades old. Since he is not technologically savvy this requires yours truly to scan in and upload each and every photo for him. (Your welcome honey!) Check out the vintage couch in the background...I rest my case. P.S. I wasn't born yet cause I am not that old. (Just in case you were getting any ideas.)

old's

Pre

I have also been working on the three year old's birthday. (soon to be four year old) I finally got the pinata. Since the party is tomorrow, I had a few worried moments. I found a backup car pinata at Party City but the three year was adamant that he wanted the Mach 5 from Speed Racer. Thank God it arrived today. So now in between dropping off the kids at their different schools, picking them up at their different schools, at different times, I have to stop at the Supermarket for the last minute stuff which I forgot while I was at the supermarket on Wednesday in the pouring rain. I also have to stuff the pinata and get the goody bags all set. (thank you kids for RSVPing yesterday! I guess some people don't understand what that P is supposed to stand for.) Anyway, the only thing I want to do tomorrow is pick up the cake and balloons and decorate. Somehow, this list will lengthen but I am still trying to be proactive.

By the way, I'm pregnant. That's pretty much going to be my excuse for everything for the next eight months. Get used to it.

Days Off Are A Blessing...and A Curse

2009-12-08T11:21:00.002-05:00

So the boys had no school today which means that we get to sleep in, and by sleep in I mean maybe an extra hour max. Since it was a day off, there is no particular rush to eat breakfast and get out the door which pretty much means the boys are in slow motion this morning and don't want to do their chores. In addition, the boys are under the misapprehension that I sit around all day waiting for them to get home. Now that they're home, they want me to do crafts with them and otherwise entertain them. I printed out this Santa Claus Template in the hopes that it will keep them busy enough to post this blog and yet here it is two hours later and I'm still not done. I like not having to rush off at a particular time to pick them up and I like the change in routine, somewhat but it really plays havoc with anything I need to accomplish that day.

My Rant On Jim Farber

2009-12-07T14:55:00.004-05:00

So I was innocently reading the Daily News yesterday...Okay I wasn't innocently reading, really I was reading it while mocking their complete lack of literary style as well as a lack of any intelligence at all in their opinion columns. But I digress... I was reading this article entitled Seasonal Songs Merry & Scary. Some nobody named Jim Farber crowned himself music critic of the day and listed 10 Christmas songs that are "heavenly" and 10 he called "annoying" and "humbug." So here is my problem, on the humbug list is my favorite, my husband's favorite and the six year old's favorite. So clearly someone has no taste. So first my husband's favorite, Santa Baby, which this excuse for a music critic calls "a joke that couldn't seem more forced." A joke?!? Really?!? I suppose the joke must be on the scores of artists who have remade this song including Shakira, Macy Gray, Natalie Merchant, Faith Evans, the Pussycat Dolls, Leann Rimes and Miss Piggy to name a few. Don't believe me, check it out for yourself on Wikipedia. If you haven't heard some version of this song over the years, you have been living in a box and you need to get out more. I know that you will be shocked to hear this but the six year old's favorite is Alvin and the Chipmunks, Christmas, Don't Be Late which the author says "wears thin fast...when played annually." May I respectfully suggest that the author is not the intended audience for Alvin and the Chipmunks. The six year old on the other hand can listen to this song all evening long and will ask me to play it again tomorrow. I admit it isn't the height of enjoyment for me but neither is Max and Ruby and Yo Gabba Gabba but I manage to sit through that without killing myself and I only have to hear the Chipmunks during the Christmas season. Finally on to my personal favorite which is Christmas Eve by the Trans Siberian Orchestra. Of course this lame author didn't even bother to specifically name any particular song, no he blanketly (is that a word? well it is now) disparaged everything the Orchestra has ever performed by calling it "late period Meatloaf mixed with a road company version of Jesus Christ Superstar." I suppose all those hundreds of thousands of fans going to see them every year are just fans of annoying music. I suppose that all the people who bought the Christmas Eve album (enough to make it go double platinum) just don't know what they are listening to. Whatever his excuse, Jim Farber needs to stop subjecting his unsolicited, unprofessional and highly erroneous opinion on the unsuspecting public and get himself a blog.

Dear Santa, Giants & Library

2009-12-03T11:01:00.004-05:00

Dear Santa,
This year, instead of getting a lot of little presents, how about one big one? You know those commercials where the woman opens up the box of keys and then there is a fancy car in her driveway with a big bow on top? Yeah, that would be nice. Set the elves to work.
I live in hope,
Cassie
P.S. I can make one big cookie instead of a lot of little ones, if that would help.

Dear NY Giants,
Remember when you were undefeated? Wasn't that nice? You beat the Cowboys before and you have to beat them again so that I still have a reason to watch the remaining games.
Thanks,
An undiscouraged fan

Dear Union Public Library,
When I take the three year old for story time, I kind of expect you to read him stories. Singing Hickory Dickory Dock and How Much Is That Doggie In The Window is all well in good but I don't really think it falls under the category of a story. You do have books in the library right? Just Checking.
A Patron

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A Note From the Six Year Old

2009-12-02T08:26:00.002-05:00

So yesterday the six year old broke his Iron Man Action Figure. (Now when I say action figure this is a talking piece of electronics about 15 inches tall.) So while I was cooking dinner, he comes in to ask me to fix it. Unfortunately, this is a regular occurance with two boys, at least in my house. However, since I was cooking dinner, I obviously could not give him the immediate attention he craved. This resulted in a temper tantrum. (He tried to fix it himself with box tape but that didn't work.) So since both my husband and I were ignoring the temper tantrum, (I was cooking dinner!) my six year old wrote us the following note. I leave in the misspellings for your amusement. You don't lick me. You hat me. I am in visible. Of course my husband's response to this was of course I'll lick you and proceeded to chase the six year old around the house in an attempt to lick him. Good times.

My Computer Was Hijacked

2009-11-30T13:37:00.003-05:00

Seriously my computer was hijacked. So you know that strange man who sleeps here and pays the bills and calls himself my husband? Yeah, he discovered facebook sometime this weekend and spent the entire holiday weekend staring at photos and waiting for people to update their statuses so that he could make cutting remarks in response. Everytime I got a free minute to read blogs or update my own, I come downstairs to find it already in use. Computer hog! He showed an utter lack of respect for my readers who I know were frantically awaiting updates on my incredibly interesting life.

Anyway so here is what has been going on since last we met. Thanksgiving parade, Thanksgiving cooking, entertaining, Black Friday shopping (for me and kids so made no progress at all on Christmas lists), Friday night cooking and entertaining, stayed up late to watch part one of the Monk finale (since aforementioned entertaining might have caused me to miss crucial pieces of dialogue) Saturday shopping (again no progress on that Christmas list but I got three new tops so yay me!), and visit with Santa (interesting how the six year old was too scared to speak with the old guy but the three year old had no problem getting right up there and demanding things) Saturday night turkey leftovers, Sunday church (which went amazingly well since the six year old was enthralled with advent decorations) and fight with children (who think that since they got to stay up late during the holidays that that will be an ordinary state of affairs even though they have school in the morning)

I am mostly glad to be back in the daily grind since it means I actually get blocks of time to myself, like when everyone is in school or sleeping. However, somehow my house is even more dirty than usual which means more work for me. *Sigh*

What the Hell Wednesday Blogging and TV

2009-11-25T09:09:00.005-05:00

So today is What the Hell Wednesday which gives me free rein to spew my complaints all over the place.

Now I know that I have been a very neglectful blogger lately but what the hell, it's my blog right? I can't help it if even sitting upright at the computer is making me ill. You are lucky you get any posts at all with the way I am feeling. It is a diabolical punishment for something which I haven't figured out yet. With the six year old I would be nauseous in the morning but as long as I waited long enough before eating, nothing ever actually came up. With the three year old I had major aversions, for example to bacon. As long as bacon was not cooked in my home, I was fine. This time, it comes on night and day with no rhyme or reason before I eat, after I eat, when I don't eat....What the hell???? I am hoping that since this particular bout of morning sickness is so severe that it can't possibly last as long....right??? Agree with me, damn it!!
My husband sent the six year old to bed at 7 pm last night because he was being a nasty whiny brat. So essentially he got an extra hour of sleep. What the hell? Can I be punished too? And then since he got an extra hour of sleep, why did he still give me a hard time waking up this morning? Thank God for vacation...only I still have to get up early to start the pumpkin pie, stuffing, turkey etc. etc. etc.
Why is it that my index finger hurts from too much mouse exercise? You know that little scroll down wheel? That's the one that for some reason has sprained my index finger. What the hell? Now I can't even enjoy my daily blogger fix without bodily injury?
So why is it that a TV station will get you hooked on a series and then take it off the schedule? Lifetime had Medium on at 7pm for a while which was great for me. I got to catch up on earlier seasons until they moved it to 12:30 AT NIGHT!! What the hell? Now I have to stay up until it ends at 1:30AM? Don't they know I have kids and need to get up at the crack of dawn aka 5:45 and therefore can't stay up to watch it? TNT totally did the same thing to my Bones episodes which used to come on everyday instead of only once a week. Also I was not pleased yesterday to see an previously unseen episode in the guide only to be tuning into Law and Order. What the hell? I mean really, it wasn't even a good one with Benjamin Bratt or Jerry Orbach.

To check out other What the Hell Wednesday posts go see Blue Monkey Butt. Seriously, what are you still doing here? Go!

Planning a Birthday Party

2009-11-23T11:33:00.002-05:00

So how strange is it that I am disappointed with the three year old's theme choice for his birthday party? One the one hand, he had so much fun last year that he apparently wants to do the same thing again but on the other hand, boring!! I had in mind a cool Toy Story party complete with puppet show but my three year old (who is obsessed with all things Toy Story - his Christmas list is dominated by different characters) said very emphatically he does not want a Toy Story birthday party. He wanted the same Car theme as last year with the bouncy house. Let it not be said that I don't give my kids what they want. So out went the invitations this morning, we went with a Speed Racer theme, which he was fine with and recycling the entertainment from last year. Meanwhile, the six year old has already picked out a theme and the gift he wants for next September. Yeah, cause he plans ahead like that.

News Flash

2009-11-20T11:10:00.003-05:00

Okay morning sickness sucks. The worst part is I don't have it in the mornings or at least not only in the mornings. Really what I have is slightly sick mornings, not at all sick afternoons to be capped with dangerously ill evenings. Last night the husband brought home lobster for dinner on the spur of the moment. Seriously, we had surf and turf which I totally could not appreciate. Not to mention that dinner is usually my favorite meal. I mean I like eggs and bacon as much as the next girl but there is no substitute for the smorgasbord which is dinner. Anyway, my husband has been really good about making dinner himself lately mostly cause he doesn't want to hear me gagging all over his dinner. This still leaves the whole get the boys to bed disaster to be dealt with. Just to let you know, my stomach is not in favor of the whole going up and down the stairs thing after four o'clock. I don't know why I don't remember this from the last two pregnancies. It most be some kind of convenient memory designed to let my husband impregnate me without complaint. I wonder what else I forgot?

Go to Sleep Already!

2009-11-17T09:39:00.003-05:00

So last night we go through our regular bedtime routine which is becoming a three ring circus. They brush their teeth and ask for water and use the bathroom and want stories and finally lay down. The boys go up and from downstairs I can hear them talking but I don't hear them walking and besides am majorly nauseous at night now so didn't get up to investigate. My husband goes up to take his shower and discovers that they have placed half their bookshelf in a great big pile in the middle of the room. At least fifty books in a giant pile. That's not all. As per his usual custom lately, the six year old, pulled all of his stuffed toys down under his covers which he untucked and rolled into a ball under which he is also huddled. In an unusual new twist, he pulled his sheet off and tied it to the headboard because "he liked the way it looked." Sometimes I just don't know what to do with them. I took the books out of the room, straighten and tucked the six year old's sheets and blankets again, removed the stuffed toys from the bed and then screamed just enough to scare them from ever doing that again or at least for last night.

So That's Why He Won't Eat Lunch!

2009-11-13T12:20:00.002-05:00

So today I offered to make the six year old peanut butter and jelly for lunch which is normally one of his favorites. He declined. Would you like to know why? Apparently a boy at his table has been disparaging his lunches. So he is afraid to take his luch for fear this John character won't like it. Can you believe it? I am waking up an extra half hour every weekday morning to prepare him hot lunches which go half eaten not because he doesn't like them but because some smart mouthed snot at his table doesn't like it??! I was so upset, needless to say. So I was curious what this kid ate. He eats those prepackaged Lunchables which my son hates. I told him to tell this kid that his lunch was gross and to mind his business. I don't have much faith in that working though.

Dear Someone

2009-11-12T12:32:00.003-05:00

Dear Benedictine Preschool;

From our conference, I understand the three year old to be loving, cooperative and very independent in school. Apparently, you have sent me home the wrong child. When you find that loving, cooperative, independent three year old, call me.

Thanks,
Mom

Dear Baby,

Do you realize that I am only about eight weeks pregnant? Stop with the cravings. I have little enough food impulse control as it is without you chiming in. So far we have had two breakfasts and lunch. Try to hold out for dinner, okay? Thanks.

Mom-To-be

Dear Computer,

You have really brightened my world these past couple of months. Thanks for being you.

Love
Hopelessly Addicted Blogger

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